LifeBridge Center for Joyful Living

There are few things in our physical lives that seem to be the cause of more joy, elation and happiness, and likewise, there are also few that seem to be the cause of more grief, suffering and sorrow, than the topic of Primary Love Relationships, also known as our mate, spouse, significant other, etc.  For the most part, the reason for this is because we often do not understand what relationships are for, nor do we understand how to “navigate” within them in order to realize their true “purpose.”  In my work I encounter many people who are longing, yearning and waiting for their “Soul Mate” to come into their lives, and many others who are currently in a Primary Love Relationship, and yet, are not happy.

In either instance, the viewpoint of “the world at large” is that when we are unhappy we need to DO something in physical to change the outer circumstances – either by “finding” a partner, somehow changing the one we have, or leaving our current relationship and then “finding” a different, somehow “better” partner.  In each instance, the belief is that THEN we will be happy.  This is the perspective we have been taught, and even though it has not worked successfully for hardly anyone on the planet, we persist in thinking that “if only” we could find that “One Special Someone”; or if we could just change these “few things” about our current mate, we would THEN be happy.

It is these thoughts, these beliefs, that are the very root of our unhappiness regarding relationships – not the relationships themselves – and yet, we have been told, shown, and taught in nearly every conceivable way that it “should” be a certain way, and that if we can only find out how to “make it that way” then we will be happy.  It is no wonder that we are frustrated (at best) and downright miserable (at worst.)  We have been trying to “do it” the way we were taught, and the simple truth is that none of that will work, because very little (if any) of what we were taught is true.

We were taught that we are only “half a person”, we are somehow “incomplete” until we meet that “special someone” that will then, somehow, “complete us” – and then we will be complete, whole and happy.  We feel that our “purpose” in life is to “make them happy” while they, in turn, “make us happy.”  These “teachings” are insidious, they come at us from every conceivable angle: TV, radio, movies, songs, advertising, books, other people, our parents, our friends, our siblings, billboards and so many more.  This perspective is a Fairy Tale, and even though we know that we learned it AS the “Happily Ever After” Fairy Tale, we still hold on to the belief that somehow, some way, it WILL work if we can just “do it right” – unless we are one of the ones who gives up entirely, seeing that the “Fairy Tale” will not work, and simply resign ourselves to being alone.

Then, a seeming miracle happens.  We DO meet someone and we feel that ecstatic rush of excitement, as we are surrounded by and immersed in Love!!  We are exhilarated, we feel we could jump over the moon, dance with the stars, and that life will now and forever be the “Happily Ever After” that we were promised.  We delight in every single thing about that person, even things that annoy us when others do them are just “so cute” and endearing when THIS “Special One” does it.  

We are so “In Love”!!   We vow to ourselves, and the other, that we will “hold onto” this feeling; we will MAKE it last somehow, even through sheer force of will if need be. 

All does go well… until…

“Reality begins to set in” and we begin fearing that the “Honeymoon is over”.  We begin seeing a few things, and then a few more, that don’t look so “cute” any more, we do not feel the sense of endearing acceptance that we were feeling, now things just begin to look familiarly “less then” we thought it was at first.  We start seeing things we saw, and lived through, in our prior relationship(s).  Usually, at this point we begin to doubt our choice, we ask ourselves “what went wrong?”, maybe this person isn’t “The ONE”, maybe we made a mistake.  These feelings lead to a sense of futility, a questioning of our judgment, a lowering of our personal sense of worth.  We begin wondering what is “wrong” with us?  How could we have been so “wrong” about them?  The downward spiral has begun, and the pain and self-doubt brings us lower and lower, and the more we feel those emotions the more convinced we are that “if only” that “other person” would change how THEY are acting then we would be happy again.  Or we begin thinking that since we chose the “wrong” one, that the “right” one must still be “out there” so we begin to look for that one, and the cycle repeats.

The truth is that we DID make a mistake – but it is not the mistake we think we made.  We made a mistake in what we thought the relationship was about, and its very purpose in our lives.  The basic underlying “mistake” is that we began with a faulty premise, and from there, we were destined to a result that could not “work.”

As any scientist knows, any time we begin with a faulty premise we will not achieve the results we desire.  And also as any good scientist knows, if we begin again, it is imperative that we begin with a new, different premise, or we are destined to continue creating the same “result.”  It may look a bit different at first, but in the final analysis, the result cannot be depended upon if the original premise is faulty.  No matter how it “looks” at first, it will not withstand the test of time if the original premise is not based in accuracy.

While the “Fairy Tale” we were taught will not work, that does not mean that Primary Love Relationships cannot be the wonderful and thrilling experiences we all deeply desire and hope they can be.  In fact, they CAN be that, they ARE that, when we learn how to approach them, and live within them, for the purpose they are actually intended for, rather than for what “the world” taught us they were for.

The first step in moving toward the joy that can be created within a Primary Love Relationship is to find a new premise; to come to a basic understanding of what relationships are actually FOR!  Most people believe they understand that, but the truth is that most people really don’t understand it, and the “proof” of that is in their “results”. 

We live in a relative world, meaning that everything in our lives is about relationship – our relationship with every thing, every person, every object, every situation, every event and every circumstance.  The very purpose for that is for us to decide and declare, indeed, to actually LIVE, our choices as to how we choose to be in relation to everything else.  The most powerful one for most people is our Primary Love Relationship, but it holds true for all relationships, to every thing and every one.

Those teachings that we are “incomplete” until we find the “one” that makes us “whole” are CRAP!  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The very best relationships come about by each person already being whole, complete and joyful within themselves first, and then coming together to share their wholeness, their completeness and their joy, and to continue expanding and evolving together – with each person supporting and assisting the other.

To begin understanding how to live life that way is to understand some very basic pieces of information:  That we are – first and foremost – a Spiritual Being, not a physical being; and that the Source of all Love is God/Source/The All.  There is no other.  

From there we can see that what is actually happening when we attract another and have those amazing feelings of Love, is that that person is actually connected to the Source of All Love and is then holding us as their focus of attention.  When they do that, we are the wonderful recipient of that powerful flow of Love – but, it is not coming FROM them as much as it is flowing THROUGH them -- from Source, to us!  What we are actually receiving is the Love of Source. This does not necessarily mean that the other person is not feeling love for us, they most assuredly are, but what they are feeling is also feeling the Love of Source as it flows through them.  Then, if you are simultaneously connected to the one Source of All Love, and flowing it THROUGH you to them, THAT is when the sparks fly!  That is when the feeling of Love is so intense, so powerful, so amazing that we can literally “lose ourselves” in it.  And there is nothing “wrong” with that!  In fact, that is the way it was designed to be.  What we are “losing’ at that moment is our deeply ingrained belief that we are a physical being, we are stepping out of that viewpoint and re-connecting with the deeper KNOWING that we are Spiritual Beings, and that is the ultimate!  We do, indeed, feel “whole” during those times, but it is not the other physical being that is “completing us”, it is the connection to the Source of All Love that we are feeling, and it is that connection that “completes us”, because at that moment we are feeling the WHOLENESS of Who We Really Are.

However, what often happens for us – because of the things we have learned from “the world” – is that we begin to think that it is actually about  that ONE person, about  that ONE relationship, and that becomes problematic, because then we begin to feel that we are “not whole without them” or we “need them” in order to be happy, etc.  Soon we begin feeling insecure, fearing that we may “lose” that Love and that connection.  When those fears begin to arise – which we often barely notice at first – that is when the “problems” begin.  In our fear we cling, or we push away, depending on how we have learned to deal with fear.  In either instance, because of our fear, we begin trying to control the outcome, so that we will not “be hurt” and a circular energy begins to spin.  In our efforts to control the outcome so as not to be hurt, our behaviors begin to feel like a restriction of freedom to the other person.  Since we are ALL “freedom-seeking beings” at our core, any feeling of restriction – or control – will cause us to react.  Once one partner begins the “dance of reactions”, the other will usually follow suit soon, with each person reacting to the other in whatever way(s) they have learned to deal with fear and the sense of another’s attempt to control us.

This “dance” can – and often does – go on for years, or even decades, until one person decided that they have “had enough” and they begin to “look for” what they think they have “lost” in their partner.  They yearn once again for that feeling of connection, that sense of intense Love and all-encompassing joy.  This cycle can repeat many times, for varying length of times, but the outcome will always be similar, because the original premise was based in faulty information.

But it need not be this way.  If we can begin to see the purpose for relationship for what it really is, once we can make that shift in our perspectives, we can then see our partner for who and what they truly are, a Spirit inhabiting a fallible, physical body, and one who (for whatever reason) was so deeply connected to Source’s never ending flow of Love at that moment, that we then felt the Unconditional and Unending Love of Source.  When we embrace that knowing, we see that the physical being was a catalyst for the Love to flow though – rather than the ONE being who somehow “completes” us.  This can seem a radical shift of perspective, but I assure you, making this  shift will give you an unparalleled opportunity to create and live a whole new world of love, ease, relationships and everything else!

It is also still true that there are “agreements” that we make with other “individuated Spirits/Souls”, agreeing to become physical beings during the same “time” that you do, for the purpose of fulfilling whatever “agreement” has been made. 

When we meet someone and have that powerful feeling of connection with them right from the start, that potent resonance, those feeling of “immediate knowing” – those feelings are our Inner Being communicating to us.  We are recognizing someone with whom we have such an “agreement.”  The question then becomes, an “agreement” for what??

Is it an agreement for a life-long, Primary Love Relationship?  Is it an agreement to come together to create something in particular?  Is it an agreement to awaken within each the realization of what it is POSSIBLE to feel?  Is it an “agreement” to briefly touch each other’s lives with an awareness, or a longer time, or even a lifetime?  Is it an “agreement” to remind each other of the absolute power of being connected to Spirit?

The possibilities are endless of what the “agreement” could be, as many as there are people and situations.  We are most often not aware directly (cognitively) what the agreement is – but there absolutely IS a way to know.  By following the guidance of our Inner Being, by feeling and recognizing our emotions, inspirations, intuitions, etc. – we absolutely can and will know how to proceed.  But… this can lead to another “problematic” area.  If we are carrying beliefs that are not in alignment with what our Inner Being knows to be true for us, we can misinterpret, hinder, skew, or even vibrationally reject the very knowing that we would otherwise have access to, were it not for those contrary beliefs that we are carrying.

So, say you meet someone and you feel that rush, that excitement, that sense of “YES!”  That emotion, in that moment, is your Inner Being saying: “Pay attention to this – what you are seeing and what I am seeing are in alignment and it is important!”  That’s all.  Just that.  If the emotions persist as you interact with that person, that is your Inner Being saying:  “Yes, we are STILL seeing it the same and there is more to experience here.”  If you heed those impulses, and continue to interact for however long you continue to feel “good”, then you are in the perfect state of hearing and following your guidance.  You are in that sublime state of knowing that your interpretation of the situation is in utter Alignment with what your Inner Being knows to be true of that situation.

If; however, it begins to not feel so “good”, if you begin having emotions that are “negative” and/or hurtful, then you can be sure that your interpretation is not quite as aligned with what your Inner Being knows to be true, and the worse you feel, the more you can know that your interpretation is “missing the mark” from what your Inner Being knows.  

This is an important aspect, because it does NOT necessarily mean that this particular person is out of alignment with you, it merely means that your interpretation of whatever you are focusing on is out of alignment with what your Inner Being knows.  That is a crucial distinction to make – one that will lead you to either happiness or misery – and yet this is the moment when most people will begin “blaming” or “pointing a finger” at the “other”, thinking that “they have changed”, that “they are not acting like they used to”, etc. rather than seeing what is actually happening.  What is actually happening is that the “other” is mirroring back to you whatever is in YOUR vibration.  Always.  It can be no other way.  Sometimes that is a “hard pill to swallow”, because we sometimes do not want to look that deeply into our own being and see whatever it is that we are vibrating that even COULD attract that from another – but nonetheless, that is what is happening, every time.

Looking at our partner and blaming them for anything is like looking into our bathroom mirror and blaming the mirror for whatever we see that we do not like or want to see.  The mirror is just a mirror.  If what we are seeing does not please us, then we have 100% power to change it – but not by attempting to change the “mirror.”  In relationships, the way we change what we see in the mirror is by changing whatever is in our vibration that is attracting that reflection in the first place.  Once we do that, the outward reflection absolutely and emphatically WILL change!  If we don’t do that, if we just smash this mirror and go get a new one, it won’t be long before the new mirror is showing us the same reflection.

So as we begin to see things we do not prefer in our mate, the very first step is to take full responsibility for the fact that we have attracted it, that what we are seeing in THEM is but a reflection telling us something about our vibration.  This can feel like blame, at times – as though we have done something “wrong.”  But that is never the case.  We have attracted something we do not prefer because we do not understand.  We are trying to live within our relationship from that faulty premise we were taught.  Once we do understand, and begin taking responsibility for our own creations, then we can shift out of any feelings of “blame” and step UP into the knowing of our true power.  We will see that if we created THIS, then that automatically means we have the power to create something else – ANYTHING else – that we choose.  And THAT is what relationship is for:  To decide and declare, to LIVE, Who We Are in relation to that.  

While this shift of perspective is powerful beyond words, it is not a “one-time event” for most of us.  Even after we intellectually understand it, it can still be quite challenging to actually live it.  There are many “processes” and “exercises” we can use to help us shift into this new way of thinking.  One of the most basic premises for using any of them, though, is to first have a really clear understanding of our Emotional Guidance System, so that we are “reading” our Inner Being’s messages accurately.  I wrote an analogy in a prior article about our Inner Self’s guidance being similar to the children’s game of “Colder/Warmer/Hot” where one child verbally directs a blindfolded child to a particular object.  Our emotions are our Inner Being’s “verbalization”:  Feeling “bad/negative” is “cold”(furthest from alignment with our Inner Being); feeling middle/neutral is “warm” (closer to alignment); and feeling “great/positive” is “hot” (meaning we are then in alignment!)

So as you interact with this person, pay close attention to how it feels, and try to keep in the back of your mind the “Cold/Warm/Hot” game.  It is important to note that the emotions you feel are not about the actual events and circumstances – they are about what you tell yourself about the events and circumstances, and your Inner Being’s feedback as to how aligned you are.  

In any event, do not deny how you feel – you feel what you feel, and no matter what, that is always 100% okay, it is always valuable, priceless feedback from your Inner Being!  But still, remind yourself that those feelings are not about what happened “out there”, no matter what it “seems like” your feelings are never about the “events” in your life, they are feedback about what you are telling yourself about those events, and the feelings,  themselves, are always about how connected, or not connected, you are to how your Inner Being sees those events.

So, remembering what I said earlier about the very purpose of relationships:  Every situation is there for YOU to decide Who You Choose To Be in RELATION to that situation.  There are no “wrong” choices, we each have total Free Will to Be Whomever We Choose To Be, in fact, that is the very purpose of relationships and all of life.  Regardless of the circumstances around us, we are free to choose a perspective and viewpoint that will bring happiness, peace, ease and joy into our lives, while there are other options that will most likely lead to despair, misery, unhappiness, even depression.  We are FREE to choose whichever perspective we want to choose in any situation and under any circumstances.  We are so free we are even free to choose misery and emotional bondage!!  The balance of our ease and happiness lies in that choice.

Now that we have this “new premise” and new perspective, how do we actually navigate the day-to-day circumstances and events?  What do we do when our feelings are hurt, or we get angry, or in some other way feel less-than-positive?  Even if we know and accept that all of our emotions are “feedback” from our Inner Being, what do we do with them when they occur?

There are many answers to that, and many “processes” and “exercises” we can use to help us with these times, and those will be the topic of my next Article (Relationships – Part 2, Working Through The Emotions) but the first thing to do is to allow yourself to feel however you feel.  Once we feel hurt, angry or other “negative” emotion, it is too late to “pretend it isn’t there” – and often we cannot just “let it go” as easily as we change our clothes.

So, the first thing is to feel it, not push it away or try to paste a “Happy Face Sticker” over the emotion, while still recognizing that feeling something is very different from acting on that something!  We can allow ourselves to feel, say, angry without acting angry; or any other emotion.  The next thing to do is to be honest, truly honest and transparent with your partner, and to do so while owning the full responsibility for your emotion.  Tell them what you are feeling, and even why you are feeling it, but not by way of accusing them, merely by stating the facts.  

As tempting as it might be to tell them that “THEY hurt your feelings” or that “THEY made you angry”, doing so will not only prevent you from fulfilling the purpose of the relationship (determining Who You Choose To Be in relation to that event) it is also not a true statement.  Another person does not have the power to “hurt you” or “make you angry.”  Only you have the power to do that – by what you tell yourself about whatever they said or did.  Your reaction is just that – your reaction – and only you can determine what that will be.  Only you have that power, and only you have the ability to fulfill the purpose of the relationship, no other can do that for you.  In order to fulfill that purpose, you have to take full responsibility for your reaction, be fully honest with yourself, and whenever possible, to honestly share that with your partner.

From there you can begin with any one of many processes and exercises to allow you to release whatever the “negative emotion” is.  By shifting your perspectives and/or beliefs, and releasing any resentment or resistance, you will free yourself from the prison that the resistance and resentment had you in.  Once that is accomplished, you are free!  The most amazing part of this is that once you have made that shift, once you have released that particular resistance and that particular resentment, you will never have to do that one again.  You will no longer attract that particular mirror, because the vibration that attracted it will be forever shifted.  So as you can see, the more of those we do, the freer we become, and our “contrast” in ALL relationships will lessen and lessen.  Once you have done THAT, you have fulfilled the very purpose of the relationship, you will have determined Who You Choose To Be In relation to that event, and you will be living the “fruits” of that decision.  Over time, as you work with this, you will be amazed and delighted at the ease, love, joy and happiness that will flow.

It is all about choice, and the choices you have available to you are limitless!  Which one(s) you opt for are entirely up to you; none are “wrong.”  Every choice will ultimately lead you to where you want to be, it merely depends on the “route” you chose to take.  Some routes are quite difficult and arduous, creating much “contrast”, drama and discomfort; some routes are quite easy and uncomplicated, taking you where you choose to go nearly effortlessly.  It is my deepest desire that you will take the “easy road”, hearing and heeding your guidance, your emotions, recognizing them for what they are, and making the choices that feel the very best to you.  I envision you allowing your Inner Being to take you quickly out of any pain or heartache you may be feeling, and into the JOY that life is meant to be.

In the next Article I will share many of the ways that we can “navigate” the situations, events and circumstances of being in a Primary Love Relationship.  It is important to note; however, that while I am focusing these Articles on Primary Love Relationships, everything said here is equally applicable to any relationship with any person, any event, any circumstance, any situation, and any condition.  We live in a relative environment, and as such we are in “relationship” with everything – so understanding and shifting to this perspective can – and absolutely WILL – bring ease and joy to everything in your life.

So, until next time, I am sending each and every one of you a torrent of Pure Positive Energy and Love.  I adore receiving feedback on my Articles, as well as questions and requests for clarity, so if you would like to contact me, you can do that through the “Contact” form here on the website, or you can write to me at lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net.  

Lovin’ Livin’ – Livin’ Love,

Kitty

Seeing From Broader Perspective is a concept that is mentioned in almost all Spiritual, Metaphysical and “New Age-type” books, videos, workshops and such.  It is also something that I speak of often in my work, as does Abraham (Abraham-Hicks), Neale Donald Walsch, Deepak Chopra and many others, although often with different verbiage, such as Abraham’s analogies about “floating downstream”; “seeing through the eyes of Source” or “getting into the Vortex”, but essentially they are all speaking of the same thing.  Numerous times over recent weeks and months people have asked me to elaborate on this topic more, to explain in further detail those things that are meant by this phrase, and to share specific “tools” to help them achieve this shift.

In order to have a more complete understanding of the concept of seeing from Broader Perspective, it is important for us to first be standing on the same ground, so-to-speak; meaning that it is most advantageous if we are in agreement about some basic, foundational premises.  There are only a few of those, but I will iterate them here for clarity’s sake.

1) There is something bigger, broader, more expansive and all-inclusive that creates and holds everything we see and know together.  This something has been called by many names.  A few being:  God, All That Is, Allah, Energy, Source, Supreme Being, The All, and even one of my favorites: “G.U.S.” (an acronym for God/Universe/Spirit.)  Regardless of the specific name attributed to this something, we do agree (most of us) that it is present and that it is creative in nature; hence all of creation continuously comes into being.

2) We, here in physical, are also “of” this same something; we are a portion of the whole, a part of All That Is.

3) We are a three part being, comprised of Body, Mind and Spirit.  

4) The portion referred to as Spirit includes our Soul/Inner Being, which is a non-physical portion of our being.

5) Most of us see ourselves as having “come from” this Source, that we are on a physical journey or “path” of some sort, and will eventually “return to” this Source when we do what we refer to as “die.”

6) The basic “law of the Universe” is Law Of Attraction (LOA), which states: “That which is like unto itself is drawn.”   On a personal level, that means that our vibration – the energy we “put out” or emit -- is what attracts whatever we are experiencing in our lives.

So what, exactly IS our vibration?  Many think that our vibration is made up of our thoughts, and while that is true, it is not the entirety.  Our thoughts can, and do, direct our vibration; so it is wise to “think about what we think about” in order to direct our vibration towards what we want to experience in our lives.  But, our thoughts comprise only a portion of our vibration.  Our vibration is actually a BLENDING of our moment-to-moment thoughts, along with our beliefs, perspectives and attitudes.  

This is why some people have had great “success” with the concept of “Positive Thinking” while others have walked away from it shaking their heads, or worse, thinking that it was all “bunk.”  It is not bunk – our thoughts do create our reality, but we cannot “control” 100% of our thoughts, there are just too many of them even in the course of one day.  So for most of us, the simplistic idea of “thinking positively” is really just brief and sporadic moments of positive thoughts, amongst multitudes of not-so-positive thoughts.

This is where our beliefs, perspectives and attitudes come in.  If we are carrying a belief that is contrary to what we are wanting to attract/experience in our lives, then those brief moments of thinking positive about that subject will generally not be sufficient to “overcome” a belief that states that what we want cannot be.  The reason for this is that our belief is the underlying “driver” behind the majority of the thoughts we think, and so very many of those thoughts fly by in our mind so quickly that we are not even aware of them.  Hence, we wind up with a tiny percentage of “positive thought” with a much larger percentage of “not-so-positive” thoughts, and LOA will respond to the vibration of all of that, blended together.

Then you add in the concept that your perspectives and your attitudes also blend into the mix, and it is quite easy to see why “mere Positive Thinking” will rarely achieve what we want to achieve, and if it does attract that, it will even more rarely be sustainable.

It is possible to distract ourselves long enough to attract something we desire, but if we have done nothing to shift the underlying beliefs, perspectives and attitudes (that were “driving” our original thoughts on that topic) then eventually we will “let our vigilance down” of monitoring our moment-to-moment thoughts, and those old beliefs, perspectives and attitudes will creep back into our vibration, so we will then find ourselves right back where we were before – or in a less desirable state.  This is the “mechanism” behind what many call the “self-sabotaging energy”; which is not really a desire to “sabotage self”; it is merely that we can only distract ourselves for so long.  

Everyone has heard of the pauper who manages to attract great wealth, only to wind up shortly thereafter back in the poverty that he was in originally.  Many will say he “did not really want to be wealthy” or that he “does not have high enough self-esteem” or even that he has some kind of desire to “harm himself and sabotage his own success”.  There are myriad “reasons”, “they” say, why this happens.  But what has happened in every instance is that this person has managed to distract himself from his beliefs, perspectives and attitudes long enough to become a “vibrational match” to his desire.  Namely, he distracted himself (probably through an act of sheer will), by closely monitoring and shifting his moment-to-moment thoughts, long enough and sufficiently enough to attract the wealth, but since he did nothing with the underlying beliefs, perspectives and attitudes that had created his poverty in the first place, eventually his determination lessens, he becomes complacent and then the vibration shifts back to it’s original state, and once again he will find himself a perfect match to his vibration – living in the poverty that his original vibration attracted.

So what to do?  How can we “get there from here?”  What I choose to do, and have done for many years now, is I work on both “fronts” at the same time.  I focus my mind, my thoughts, as much as I can on those things that bring me joy and happiness.  I turn my attention away from things that do not feel good, and I use my emotions as a powerful indicator.  When I have an emotion that does not feel good, I begin to “think about what I was thinking about”.  If I cannot find a way to “feel good” about that topic, then I begin thinking about something else that feels better; maybe not all the way into JOY and BLISS, but better.

Then, during those times when I am feeling good, in a higher vibrational state already, I begin working on whatever belief, perspective and/or attitude I am carrying that is not serving my intentions.  I recognize that there are no “bad” beliefs, or perspectives or attitudes; as that is all a matter of personal, individual choice, but there are those that serve my intentions and there are those that do not.  Those that I “find” within myself that do not serve my current intentions are the ones I choose to shift.  The more of those I shift, the less “vigilant” I need to be, because my beliefs, perspectives and attitudes are becoming increasingly in alignment with my current intentions; therefore, there is less and less “contradiction” in my vibration.

One of the things that I hear often from clients is:  “But I don’t want to JUST change my perspective, I want the “thing/situation/circumstance” to change!”

I want to be very clear here that when I refer to changing perspective I am not talking about ONLY changing perspectives.  I am not encouraging you to go from, say: “I’m alone and I hate it” to “I’m still alone, but now I’m happy about it.”

What I am sharing here is that your vibration has to change first, and once you have maintained that shifted vibration sufficiently long enough, LOA absolutely WILL bring you, in physical, those “things/situations/circumstances” that match your new vibration. That is exactly what LOA has been doing every day of your life, and that is exactly what LOA will continue to do – the difference being that it will be responding to a new vibration, so the “things/situations/circumstances” will also be new.

There are many ways of doing this, and the most effective I have found is to shift to seeing from a Broader Perspective.  I will share a few specific ways to do that, but first I want to explain what a bit more about what I mean by “Seeing from a Broader Perspective.”  You will recall that one of the premises I mentioned above was:  

“The portion referred to as Spirit includes our Soul/Inner Being, which is a non-physical portion of our being.”

Our Soul/Inner Being is not physical, and is not limited as we are in seeing only that which is physical.  Our Inner Being and has the advantage of seeing everything – past, present and future, and from a much “Broader Perspective”.  Think of it as if your Inner Being were standing on the highest mountaintop while you were down in the valley.  The viewpoint (or perspective) from “up there” would include much, much more than you would be able to see from where you are standing.  Now imagine that the two of you have hand-held walkie-talkies and could communicate with each other easily, and that your Inner Being was describing to you what could be seen from that vantage point.  So even though you were not seeing it in a literal sense, you could still “see” it in your mind’s eye as your Inner Being is seeing it.

This analogy is simplistic, but it is not so far from the truth.  This is very close to what is possible when we begin to listen for and hear the communications from our Inner Being – the most common of which are our emotions.  When we are feeling good, that is an indication that whatever we are focusing on, whatever perspective we have at that moment, is in alignment with the truth of what our Inner Being “sees.”  When we are not feeling good, that is an indication that whatever we are focusing on, whatever perspective we have at that moment, is NOT in alignment with the truth of what our Inner Being “sees.”  We can use this immediate form of communication with our Inner Being just as children use the game of “cold, warm, hot” as they guide a playmate to a particular desired destination.  Once we have done this for a while, we will begin seeing life more and more “through the eyes of Source”, or “seeing from Broader Perspective.”  Again, this is a very simple analogy, but it is quite effective in helping us to shift our perspective to be more in alignment with what our Inner Being/Source knows.

There are many other ways to shift our perspective to the Broader Perspective, and one of the very best “tools” I have ever found for making this shift is Neale Donald Walsch’s book:  When Everything Changes, Change Everything – In A Time Of Turmoil, A Pathway To Peace.  This is a very enjoyable, easy to read and understand book that will walk you through what he calls “The Mechanics of the Mind” (in Part One) and then through what he terms “The System of the Soul” (in Part Two).  Neale gives specific techniques and concepts that will begin to shift your perspective merely with reading it.  It is written particularly for those who are currently living through a major life change, a huge event in their lives (such as a death, a health crisis, or the ending of a primary relationship, etc.) which you may – or may not – be experiencing right now in your life.  But, whether you are or are not, the information in this book expands on what you are reading here and can be life changing, IF you are willing to make the changes as he shares them.

Becoming aware of what our beliefs are is also a powerful way to shift our perspective.  It is quite difficult to change a belief, to see it in a new light and from a new perspective, if we are not clear on what our beliefs are, specifically.  One way to become more aware of your beliefs is to really begin listening to the things you say with a “discerning ear.”  Whenever you hear yourself say something that is not a match to what you are wanting (whether that is mentally or while talking with another) make a note – or at least a mental note -- of the precise words you said.  

Example:  Staying with the relationship scenario, say you are talking with someone about his or her relationship and they say it is the most amazing and fantastic relationship they have ever seen, that they are happier than they have ever been.  What are the comments you hear in your mind?  Pay attention to your thoughts, and especially if they are in any way judgmental or critical, because that is a powerful indicator of what you believe to be true about relationships.  Maybe you think that what they are describing is “rare” or “hard to find” or even a kind of antagonistic thought of “Well, I wonder if it will STILL be good in a year, or a decade” or something along those lines.  If you do hear something like that, do not use it chastise yourself for not being “nice” – use it as important information as to what YOUR beliefs are that are holding the relationship you desire from you.  Those thoughts are like little fingers pointing to your very own beliefs!  

Another example might be that you are speaking with someone and they indicate that they were in an argument with their spouse the night before, and you “catch” a fleeting thought of “That’s the way it always is” or “Well, the honeymoon must be over for them!”  or even “Looks like their relationship is ending!”  Those are “markers” telling you what you believe about relationships.  

Another way to “catch” these kinds of thoughts is whenever you are doing something rather routine that doesn’t take a lot of concentration, like waiting for an appointment, doing dishes, or waiting at a red light in your car; bring up a topic in your mind and see where it goes.  Don’t try to direct the flow of the thoughts, just “mentally mention” a topic, and follow your train of thought wherever it leads.  These kinds of “idle time musings” can be quite revealing, and they can be done any time you are in a situation where you can let your mind wander a bit.

Once you are more aware of your current beliefs, you can begin asking your Inner Being for guidance on a different, newer perspective.  Just play with thoughts that come to you and check to see how they feel.  The better you feel with each thought, the more you know that thought is closer to how your Inner Being sees it – you are closer to “seeing it from Broader Perspective.”  The worse the thought feels the further you are away from that perspective.  Just like that children’s game – you will know by how you feel if you are “colder”, “warmer” or even “hot”!

Of course, you can also ask your Inner Being directly to show you different perspectives, and then just watch as people come into your awareness that are speaking of that very topic in different terms, or sharing their experience with that subject that is new or different than your prior experience.  I do this all the time, and it is often uncanny how quickly and accurately that “new data” comes to me sometimes.

In closing, I would like to share a story from the book I recommended above, and then a few comments.

Fill The Sieve With Water 
(Excerpted from: When Everything Changes, Change Everything
by” Neale Donald Walsch)

One day a guru was teaching his students, when a student said: “Master. You have been teaching us for months and none of us seem to be getting any closer to enlightenment.  What does it take?”

The guru smiled and said:  “You must take a sieve to the ocean and fill it with water.”

The students did not understand.  They grumbled:  “This is not a real guru.  Everyone knows you cannot fill a sieve with water.  It runs right out.  That’s the problem with what he teaches, too.  It sounds good, but it runs right out.”  So his students deserted him.

All but one.  A young woman said:  “Master, I know the problem is not in your teaching, but in my understanding.  Help me to understand.”

Filled with compassion, the guru replied:  “Come with me.”

He took her to a store and bought a sieve.  Then he took her to the shore.  “Here,” he instructed, “fill this sieve with water.”

Eager to learn, she went to the water’s edge and dipped the sieve into the water.  But when she brought it to him, all the water had run out.  He only smiled.  “Fill the sieve with water,” he said quietly, and so she tried again, knowing that he would not ask her to do something she could not do.  But it was no use.  She ran back to him as fast as she could with the sieve, but the water ran out.

“Fill the sieve with water,” he said simply, and she tried once more, this time dipping the sieve and turning and running back to him so fast that she lost her breath.  Still, no water remained in the sieve.  “To hell with this!” she screamed then.  “I’m done with this!  I’m done with this whole life of being a spiritual student!”  She threw the sieve fiercely into the air and stomped away.

“Wait!” the guru called.  “Look.”

The young woman turned just in time to see the sieve riding the ocean waves… then sinking beneath the surface and disappearing.  The guru approached the student.  “You cannot just dip in here and dip in there.  This is not about dipping and running.  You have to throw yourself in.  You have to be totally immersed.”

And the student understood.

Those who know me know that I often suggest that you “Take the best, and leave the rest.”  I want to share a bit about what I mean by that.  I utterly agree with this story of the guru and the student, that if you do not fully immerse yourself in these things you will not reach the level of Deliberate Creation that you desire.  I know this to be true from my own experience.  I have gone from a life of desperation, struggle and misery to one of Joy, Bliss and Ease, and the only – only – things that I changed were my thoughts, my beliefs, my perspectives and my attitudes, and from there everything changed!  It did not change overnight, but I did begin feeling and seeing improvement in a very short time, and now, all these years later, it continues to improve, and improve and improve.

I could not have done that by “dipping and running.”  That could only happen by me doing what the guru above stated.  “I threw myself into it totally!”   I want to be clear; however, that that does not mean that I “swallowed” everything I read, heard or saw the moment I read heard or saw it.  There is a perfect way to discern what is most advantageous for you right here, right now, and that is your guidance from your Inner Being.

So when I say: “Take the best and leave the rest.” I am not advising the “dip and run” attitude; I am sharing that only you can know what is “for you” at this time, and the most accurate guidance you will ever receive is that of your own feelings, your emotions.  If something does not resonate for you at any given time, it is most advantageous for you to not totally disregard or discard it; but to recognize that resonance (or lack thereof) as your own personal guidance from your Inner Being.  If something does resonate for you, that is a powerful indication that it is “the right thing at the right time”.  However, a lack of resonance does not mean that it is not “good” or even that it is not “for you” – it can often merely mean that the timing is off at that moment.  So the “leave the rest” portion of that saying means literally that – just leave it.  Don’t “make it wrong”, resist it or “discard it totally”, merely leave it “on the table” and see if at some point it may resonate.

As always, I would love to hear any comments you may have, to hear of your experiences with this and/or to discuss this in more detail.  You can contact me either through the Contact Page here on the website, or you can write to me directly at lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net.  I am also growing and expanding, so I’m always eager to share and discuss these things.

Lovin’ Livin’ – Livin’ Love,

Kitty

I often say that when I found the teachings of Abraham (Abraham-Hicks) I felt as though I was being handed the Keys to the Universe.  I continue to feel that way.  I now own and use the Keys To The Universe regularly, and have done so consciously now for well over 8 years.  That is not to say that I understand every nuance of every possibility.  In fact, the opposite is true.  I continue to find greater clarity and greater awareness constantly.

Having studied so many things through the years I have heard the same things being stated in many differing ways.  Abraham’s teachings speak endlessly of Alignment.  A Course In Miracles tells us that we need to “wake up from the dream” and understand that we are living in an illusion.  Neale Donald Walsch’s works, Conversations with God, tell us that we need to Be Who We Really Are.  The Bible tells us “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God… and all else will be added unto you.”  All of these are telling us the same thing, but precisely what are they telling us?  What does it mean to be “in Alignment”, or to “wake up”, or to be “Who We Really Are” or to “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God”?

We are all basically wanting the same things:  We all want to be happy, to live a life with joy, ease, love, harmony, fun, health, creativity, value and abundance.  We each have different ideas of what brings those energies into our lives, but the basis, the essence, is the same.

We have all often heard the quote that we are ‘Not physical beings having a Spiritual experience, but rather, we are Spiritual beings having a physical experience.’  As we hear or read those words we often say: “Yeah, that’s true,” but do we really feel them?  Do we live our lives from inside that truth?  More often than not, most of us recognize the truth in that quote, and then proceed with our lives solely from our physical perspective.  There is nothing wrong with that, and certainly we are both energies so it is wholly appropriate that we would look at our physical world from the physical perspective; after all, there are jobs to work, bills to pay, dishes to wash, garbage to take out and all the other myriad things that we “need” to do in order to maintain our “physicalness.”  However, even in the midst of all of that, what about the teachings’ admonitions?  What about being in Alignment, or waking up from the dream, understanding that this is an illusion, or Being Who We Really Are?  What about “Seek ye first…”?

An important understanding is that while all of those words of wisdom are true, none of them are things we physically “DO.”  Each of those are about awareness, about how we ARE while we are doing whatever we are doing.  Think about them for a minute.  Alignment.  Awakeness.  Understanding.  Being.  Seeking.  These words indicate a different energy than working a job, paying the bills, washing the dishes, or taking out the garbage.  And that is the “difference that makes all the difference.”  We do not need to choose between them, we can be Aligned while we work, or awake while we pay bills, or understanding while we wash the dishes, etc.  That powerful awareness of how things actually work is one of those areas where there is “something we do not know, the knowing of which can change everything”!

Each of these teachings are basically the same, and my favorite way to look at it is from the perspective of Alignment.  Those who follow the teachings of Abraham hear consistently – if not constantly – that “Alignment is EVERYTHING.”  But Alignment with what?  

In recent weeks/months I have come to see that many who are embracing the concept of Deliberate Conscious Creating are confused and somewhat bewildered by several aspects of Deliberate Creating, and chief among those misunderstandings is what is meant by the statement that “Alignment is EVERYTHING.”  Often they have deduced that we are wanting to be in Alignment with whatever it is that we are wanting to create in our lives.  Such as, if one wants more money, or a harmonious relationship or health, say, then one needs to be in Alignment with money, or a harmonious relationship or health.  

It has been expressed to me in many various ways that many think that in order to attract something into our lives we need to be emitting the energy that is in Alignment with those things, but that is not what the teachings are saying.  Every teaching I know of, including the ones I listed above, and many that I did not, do not say that!  That often is our interpretation of what is being said because we are still thinking of those things we want from the physical perspective, as if we were physical beings having a Spiritual experience, rather than the other way around, but the teachings are saying something quite different, which will be further explained later in this article.

Another misnomer that I often hear is people saying that they are “using” the Law of Attraction, when there is no way for us to NOT be “using” the Law of Attraction.  Just like with gravity.  We do not walk out our front door intending to somehow “use” gravity to stay on the ground.  It is a Law of our physical world that gravity just is.  We cannot NOT “use” it – it is present and operating at all times, whether we are conscious of it or not.  The same is true for Law of Attraction.  It is present and operating at all times, whether we are conscious of it or not.

Thinking that we have the option of “using” or not “using” Law of Attraction is a common misunderstanding based on our quite natural viewpoint of life from the physical perspective.  We do not have that choice.  There are very few things we have no choice about, indeed, life is almost all about our Free Will to choose, but there are a few things we do not have choice in, and “using” Law of Attraction is one of them.  We also do not have a choice regarding life itself.  We are always alive, there is no such thing as death.  We are alive in physical and we are alive in non-physical, but either way, we are alive.

An important distinction to recognize is that everything that happens in life is something that we manifested through Law of Attraction.  And yet another misconception I hear is when someone says to me that their “manifestations are not happening.”  That is never true, manifestations are happening every minute of every day for all of us.  It is not that somehow “manifestations are not happening” – it is that we have not yet learned how to Align fully with manifesting what we want to happen

So we know we want to be in Alignment – but in Alignment with WHAT?  If it is not about being in Alignment with the things we desire, or even the energy of the things we desire, then how is it that “Alignment is EVERYTHING.”?  

In order to really understand this statement, it is important first to have a basic agreement on terms such as God, The Universe, All That Is, The All, Soul, Inner Being, Higher Self, Higher Power and all of the other terms that are used so freely, and yet often mean different things to different people.  So I will share my perspective on these terms so that we will be “reading from the same page” so-to-speak.  

It is important to remember that here, from our physical perspective, it has been said by many teachers (both physical and non-physical) that it is not really possible for us to fully grasp all the ramifications of life in non-physical, but from all I have read through the years in metaphysical and scientific studying, this is how I see it now.  It is not intended to be a statement of absolute factual truth, but a way of seeing that is based in the “facts” I have gathered and then kind of “molded” into a perspective that I can wrap my thoughts around and then use in a practical, day-by-day method.

One of the most important aspects to be clear on is the concept that everything is one; everything is connected.  It is all energy, and energy is energy.  There are no specific delineations or separations in the realm of the non-physical as there appears to be here in physical.  In fact, there are no divisions and/or separations here in physical either, but we see it as though there are because of our limited perspective and our visual acuity at seeing things as separated.  But in truth, both in physical and non-physical, we are all connected, all one, and not really separated at all.

With all that said; however, all beings have the ability to FOCUS in any way we choose, and from any perspective we choose.  That is true for us here in physical bodies as well as for all of non-physical.  So knowing that, I have a visual image that works for me.

I use the terms of Source, All-That-Is, God, The All, Higher Power and sometimes the acronym “GUS” (meaning God/Universe/Source) in reference to the totality of creation.  I most often use “Source” or "The All" but for practical purposes they are all interchangeable to me.  This energy is pure, is every”where” and every”when” all at once.  As such “it” has the ability to narrow its focus into a specific “where”, or a specific “when”, and does so in, and through, us, here in physical.

While we are here in physical bodies we are not 100% here, in that we also and forever have a non-physical portion of our being – our Soul/Higher Self/Inner Being -- that is always non-physical.  My particular Inner Being is the portion of The All that is so closely focused on me, is so closely connected to me, that to all intents and purposes it IS me.  My Inner Being is my own personal, older, wiser, broader and more aware/awake portion of The All that is me; and yet is still “The All”; and can shift its focus into the broader perspective of “The All” at any time, but chooses to keep its focus on me too.  As I choose to be consciously connected to that energy of my Inner Being, I also have the same ability to then shift my focus to that broader perspective.  Abraham refers to this as “Seeing through the eyes of Source.”

It really does not matter what we choose to call any perception of creation, although the words and “names” are handy for discussion.  At the same time, however, it is important to keep in the back of our mind (at least) that truly there IS NO SEPARATION except in focus.  Regardless of whether we are focusing on our portion of The All that is our Inner Being, or are focusing on The All in its entirety, it is crucial to know that those energies are not outside of us – nor are they inside of us, we are inside of creation and all of the energy that is creation.  We are not apart FROM that, we are a part OF that.

Our Inner Being/Source knows only Love, only Truth, on every subject we can conjure, regardless of what we think on that subject; and, our Inner Being knows every single desire we have, down to the tiniest detail.  Our emotions are our immediate and ever-available feedback to let us know how closely we are Aligned with that Love, that Truth, or how far away we are – on a sort of “continuum.”  Abraham uses an “Emotional Guidance Scale” to help us know where we are on the continuum, but it is really quite easy to know.  The better we feel the more in Alignment we are, the worse we feel the more out of Alignment we are; and the more resistance we are in.  There are really only two emotions.  At one end of the spectrum is the emotion we know as Love/Empowerment, which feels good; at the other end of the spectrum is the emotion we know as Fear/Disempowerment; which feels bad.  Every other emotion we are capable of falls somewhere between those two polarities.  We can direct our emotions by directing our thoughts in the direction of what feels better to us; hence moving more into Alignment with our Inner Being/Source; and less in states of resistance.

The only thing that ever slows or stops a manifestation of a desire from flowing quickly into our physical life is resistance – which is another way of saying that we are out of Alignment with our Inner Being/Source by believing something that is not true, by lacking faith, by not trusting, and many other ways.  Whenever we are IN Alignment with our Inner Being/Source, there is no resistance, and everything we are wanting is flowing.  So, if something we want is not flowing, that very thing tells us that we have more “work” to do to shift our energy more into Alignment with our Inner Being/Source.

Being out of Alignment, or being in resistance, can consist of many things, but the bottom line is a lack of belief, a lack of trust; which are born of a fear that what we want will not happen, and that, in turn leads us to feeling like we have to make something happen.  That is such a normal feeling, since we have been taught that if we don’t make “it” happen, “it” won’t happen at all.  This is so ingrained in us that that even when we know otherwise, we still fall into the old patterns of thought that say we have to somehow make what we want to happen.

But that is not truth.  The “creating part” – the “making it happen” -- is Step 2 of the Creation Process, and that is always the “job” of the Universe, it is simply not our “job.”  So, since Step 1 (the asking) is automatic, and Step 2 is not our job, the only thing we ever need do is Step 3 (allow what we want to flow).  All of the processes and exercises that Abraham, and others, offer are ways to allow, ways to bring our vibration into Alignment with our Inner Being/Source, ways to release resistance.

So what does all of this have to do with manifesting what we want to manifest?  Everything!!!!   And here is how it all ties together.

As I quoted earlier, we are not physical beings having a Spiritual experience, we are Spiritual beings having a physical experience, and everything here in this physical realm truly is a dream, an illusion.  So if our perspective is seeing that this physical illusion is actually real – which we have all done for most of our lives – then we have the “cart before the horse.”  Merely understanding that the physical realm is an illusion is not enough, we have to live our lives from that knowing.  That is what Neale Donald Walsch means when he says that we need to BE Who We Really Are.  And the Bible’s admonition to “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God…”, the operative word in that statement being the word “first!”  That is another way of saying that in order to have “…all else added unto you” we have to be living from the truth of Who We Really Are – from the energy of Spirit, God, Source, All-That-Is, The All, GUS!

In the grand scheme of life, you see, manifestations are not the goal.  Manifesting things in physical is a portion of the illusion.  We are living in an illusory world, in illusory bodies, desiring to create still more illusions – only the energy, the vibration, behind and within all of that is ultimately real.  Manifesting things is not our “purpose” or goal in coming into physical.   As Abraham says:  “We did not come here to get things done!”  

We are here to expand the Universe through our desire, through our energy of wanting more and different and better.  This is a subtle difference, but it is not the getting of things that is our true goal here – it is the flowing of the energy towards the getting of those things that expands the Universe, and when we have that in proper perspective, the things we want WILL flow, effortlessly.

So does this mean that desiring things and wanting to manifest those desires is somehow “wrong” or not advantageous for us?  Absolutely not!   It is our desire and focus that expands the entire Universe, into ever expanding, ever new, directions.  Without the energy of desire the Universe would cease to expand and; hence, cease to be.  We are meant to have never-ending desires, and to allow those desires to flow into physical manifestation; but the part that we have (most of us) forgotten, is that the actual physical manifestation is not the goal.  Expansion and Alignment are the goals.

This part creates much confusion for many.  I hear statements frequently that “I want what I want” or “I don’t JUST want to feel better, I want the money (or the relationship, or the health, or…).  It is true that we can attract whatever we want to have, do or be in this physical realm – we absolutely can – but this is where we have the “cart before the horse.”

Often the thinking goes something like this.

“Well, I am kinda happy now, but I’ll be happier when I have _________.  So I will do everything I can to MAKE _______ happen in my life, and then I will be happier.”

This formula defies Law.  And that is true whether we are trying to “make” something happen by engaging in physical activities or we are trying to “make” something happen by Aligning our energy to try to “make” something happen.  The reason for that is because Law of Attraction can only bring us more of whatever we emit in energy, and the energy of this statement (no matter how we are approaching it) is:  “I do not now have what I think will make me happier”; so Law of Attraction can only bring us MORE of “I do not now have what I think will make me happier.”  That is what “Like attracts like” means!  More of whatever energy we are putting out.  Putting out EFFORT, trying the MAKE something happen is not the same as using the processes, visualizations, affirmations and meditations to gain clarity within ourselves, and then allowing the manifestation to flow.

Abraham says very succinctly:  “What is effort?  Effort is something you do to overcome resistance.  If there is no resistance, it requires no effort – at all.”  ~Abraham-Hicks 03/27/2010

So how do we, here in physical, somehow bridge that seeming canyon of disconnect?  There is a way that is so deceptively simple it boggles the mind.  I have even heard people say that it is “too simple” and that it “cannot work” – but I can attest to the fact that it DOES “work", and has “worked” for me more times than I can even recall.  And this is the Master Key to the Keys to the Universe.

The Master Key:   Bringing ourselves into Alignment with our Inner Being solely for the sake of Alignment with our Inner Being -- NOT for the purpose of trying to “make” something manifest.

I will explain that statement, and why it works – and more, I will share a seemingly “magical formula” for the easiest and fastest way I have found for how to do it.  It is not a secret, especially for anyone who studies Abraham’s teachings, but for many of us, even most of us, the simplicity and power of this one thing has escaped our full attention.

But first, a bit of explanation:  As I said earlier, our Inner Being knows everything about what we desire, knows every nuance and every fiber of our desires, even portions that we may have forgotten.  Earlier I said:  “…our Inner Being knows every single desire we have, down to the tiniest detail.” And that is a statement of fact that we can all rely on because we know that our Inner Being is US!

So it is not that we need to “tell” our Inner Being what we want, that knowledge is already there.  We use processes, visualizations, affirmations and meditations for the purpose of bringing our energy into Alignment with our Inner Being, and for increasing our level of belief that what we want is not only possible, but absolutely attainable; which also brings our energy more into Alignment with our Inner Being’s knowings!

What we need to understand is that we are not doing processes, visualizations, affirmations and meditations for the purpose of manifesting, we are doing them for the purpose of Alignment with our Inner Being/Source.  Physical manifestation is a natural BYPRODUCT of Alignment with Inner Being/Source!   It is not the “main event”; and cannot be the “main event” when all of physical is illusion.  That is why there is no “effort” needed, because we are not, in any way, “making” it happen, we are merely Aligning with our own Inner Being for the sole purpose of Aligning with our Inner Being, we are “Being Who We Really Are” -- and then Our Inner Being/The Universe/Source takes care of the rest – truly effortLESS!

That paragraph is pivotal.  I suggest that you go back and read it again to be certain that you fully understand the implications of it.

We are Spiritual beings temporarily living in a physical body, having a physical experience.  So to get that horse around in front of the cart, where it belongs, we only need to understand that, and reach for that connection – then, the statement from the Bible becomes more clear.  Connecting with our Inner Being is the first portion of that quote of: “Seek ye first the Kingdom of God”, which allows the manifestations to flow, proving the second half of that statement:  “all else will be added unto you”.  Note that it doesn’t say some will be added, or even that most will be added, it states that ALL else will be added.

What it boils down to is a matter of priority.  If we are trying to Align our energy for the purpose of manifesting, then we are not living from the truth of our being.  The truth of our being is that we are Source/Spirit/God.  Our Inner Being knows that truth, will never waver from that truth; and more, knows that physical things are not – and never were – our highest priority.  Our ultimate highest priority is in being Who We Really Are – Spirit!  Once we are in Alignment with that truth, and living our lives from that energy, it is absolutely true that “all else will be added unto you” – right here, right now, in physical!!  And that, in turn, shows us our power – our inherent, innate power – to be, do or have anything we desire.

This is what Abraham is talking about when they talk of “Being in the Vortex.”  They have been telling us this one truth, in many different ways through the 20+ years they have been teaching:  Being in Alignment with our Inner Being is the one -- and only -- “answer” to how to manifest what we want.  Any other priority, any amount of “effort” and any purpose in our hearts other than that one thing, is resistance.  Because the only reason we would ever try to “make” something happen is that we believe we “need” to do that in order to have what we want.  And the opposite is true.  The way to have “all else” is to let that need go, do our processes and exercises with the knowing that the only reason we are doing them is to be more fully Aligned with our Inner Being.

I have had clients tell me that putting forth effort is not resistance.  I will allow that in a tiny percentage of cases that might be true, but for the vast majority of us, effort does equal resistance and fear.  Here are a few ways you can tell which it is for you.  

Fear always holds on, clutches, controls, orchestrates, resists change and the unknown, is afraid to let go.  

Trust always releases, lets go easily, flows, welcomes change, delights in the unknown and allows the unfolding to happen.

When you think of trying to let go of the need to make things happen, which of these sets of feelings do you have most powerfully?

The antidote to fear is always trust.  If you find that trust is lacking, there are things you can do to shift your energy in that direction and to increase your level of trust.  A few of those things are:  Shifting your current beliefs to ones that more closely serve your intentions; loving and accepting yourself more; asking for and gathering new data to support/prove your desired beliefs; visualizing your desired outcome in ways that feel good to you; affirming in ways that feel true to you now as you reach for more; re-framing the way you look at the situation; as well as many other ways to shift energy.  (Many of these are topics of my other Articles and are also why having support on your path can be most beneficial.)

So now, when we hear “Alignment is EVERYTHING!” we know precisely what that means.  We know what to Align with (our Inner Being/Source) and why it is “EVERYTHING” (because that is living inside of the truth Who We Really Are).  

Now I will share with you easiest and most amazing way I have ever found to Align with my Inner Being; the seemingly “magical formula” that I promised earlier.  It is not magic, really, it is merely the natural effects of natural law.  It is so powerful, so effective, so deceptively simple – and yet it is the most effectual, efficient and valuable tool I know of.  Those who follow Abraham’s teachings will know how often they speak of this.  They even have a process for it.

In a word, it is:  APPRECIATE!  And the process Abraham has shared for it is called “A Rampage of Appreciation.”

This one activity, repeated often enough with enough feeling, will Align our energy to our Inner Being faster and easier than anything else I have ever found.  I have had some of the most amazing things manifest, in the most remarkable ways (beyond even what I thought was possible at the time.)   The one thing I do more than anything else is I use my power of focus to Appreciate everything and anything I can; and the most important things I have found TO Appreciate are myself and the current manifestations that I am now attracting – no matter how “big” or “small.”  I do not try to “make” myself Appreciate something that I do not naturally Appreciate.  I merely look for everything that I genuinely do Appreciate already, and I focus on it until I can feel the energy of Appreciation flowing.

I regularly use visualizations, processes, affirmations and meditations for the purpose of expanding my level of belief of what is possible, for shifting my beliefs, perceptions and attitudes and for day-to-day Alignment.  I continue to do those things, as they are extremely important and allow me to stay in Alignment with my Inner Being with ever-increasing ease.  But when I am not actively doing those things, I am Appreciating – all day, all the time, everywhere I go and with everyone I come into contact.  Sometimes it is a bit of a stretch mentally, in that there are still a few people and/or situations that I come into contact with that I do NOT immediately Appreciate, so at those times I simply shift into Appreciating when they are (or will be) no longer present.  [grin]

It does not matter one bit what we are Appreciating or who we are Appreciating, what matters is the energy of Appreciation, itself.  When we are flowing Appreciation, we are in utter Alignment with our Inner Being.  And since our Inner Being knows every single thing we want, and since the only thing that keeps any of those things from flowing into our physical lives is resistance; then once we successfully shift into Appreciation mode, and “Align solely for the sake of Alignment” exclusively because it feels so good to be standing in our physical beingness while being utterly Aligned with our non-physical beinginess, then we are squarely in the middle of the energy of Allowing.  Once we reach and maintain the state of allowing, all manifestations can, and will, flow.  The paradox is that once we let go of needing to “make” things happen, then everything we desire is unrestricted and can flow freely into our physical experience.

A brief word about the difference between Appreciation and gratitude:  Those two words are often used interchangeably, however, for most of us, they do not carry the same energy.  Gratitude often carries with it the additional energy of having “overcome some obstacle” (which is resistant) or feeling as though we "should" have “gratitude” for a person or situation because we “owe them that”, ( which is also resistant).  The energy of Appreciation (the way we use it) is a much cleaner vibration that is not “muddied” with other, resistant energies.  So for that reason Abraham suggests that we simply reach for Appreciation, and I have found that to be much more effective in my life as well as for those I coach and work with.

So there you have it, the Master Key to the Keys to the Universe -- reaching for Alignment with our Inner Being for the sole purpose of Aligning with our Inner Being; plus the most powerful, easy and effective “tool” I know for achieving that state.  I will close this Article with an Abraham quote that summarizes this.  As always, I welcome your feedback and comments, and will happily answer any questions that may arise.  I Appreciate YOU, for being here, for reading and for asking the questions that draws this information through me to you.  That is one of MY favorite feelings of Alignment, and I know that “Alignment is Everything.”

Lovin’ Livin’ – Livin’ Love,

Kitty

Abe – The Fastest Way

… so, you’re reaching with a lot of ferver into your Vortex, in other words, there’s a lot of… passionate focus that we can feel from you, and so, and the only thing that could cause stress, or go a little haywire, is if you have that kind of passion amidst resistance.

But, then you added the exact recipe to this passion, as you say I just find reason, after reason, after reason, after reason to Appreciate!

The combination of strong desire of what’s coming and an avid, compulsive, practiced  APPRECIATION of “what is” will leave you in a place of living happily ever after forevermore!!

~Abraham-Hicks - June 4, 2011

Changing our beliefs is one of the most basic necessary skills to acquire in becoming a more Deliberate Creator, because, were it not for the beliefs we carry that do not serve our current intentions, we would already be manifesting everything we could dream of, and doing so with such speed we would wonder what all the fuss was about.  So, if it is our intention to be able to create what we desire in our lives, then it is imperative that we learn the skill of shifting the beliefs we are now carrying that do not serve our current intentions into beliefs that do serve our desires and intentions.

It is important to remember that beliefs are neither “right” nor “wrong.”  The only thing we need consider is whether or not a particular belief is in alignment with, and aids us, in creating what we desire.  There are many beliefs that we currently have that we will want to keep, because they are helping us on our path; however, there are many that are working against our desires and us as well.  Finding and shifting those beliefs that do not serve us is, in many ways, the very core of “the work” to becoming a Deliberate Creator.  As a coach, every process I use, every suggestion I make, every email I write and every phone conversation I have is actually towards this singular end.

Our Inner Being/Soul/Source knows the absolute truth of Who We Really Are.  Succinctly speaking, the extent to which we are in agreement with those truths, we are quite powerful in our ability to create the life we desire; however, to the extent that we are out of alignment with those truths, we increasingly diminish our innate power to create the life we desire.  We are still creating every moment of every day, we do not lose the ability to create our lives, but we lose the direction of our lives because we are believing that we have no power or control, or that someone/something is deciding for us, or a myriad other beliefs that will rob us of our innate and absolute power over our own lives.  Hence the need to shift our beliefs, because in doing that we move more into alignment with the truth of our being, and that, in turn, brings us squarely into our own power and ability to create the lives we desire.

Before I go into the actual “anatomy of changing beliefs”, I’d like to share a bit of basic recap.  There are only a few basic truths, but often in all of our “trying” and “doing” we lose sight of the foundation, so by way of reminder:

1) Life is meant to be Joyous and Easy.  There is nothing we are here “to do” other than to “be.”  We intended for this physical experience to be a fun one, a joy-filled one, where we desired to see the “how” in how creation works and then have fun molding the clay and creating life the way we choose it to be.  We can become a bit “lost in the translation”, but even THAT is a portion of our plan – because it feels so delicious and wonderful to come into full knowing and understanding AFTER having been in a place of seeming not knowing or not understanding.

2) The purpose of life is expansion.  We are not here to prove anything or somehow becoming more worthy than we already were the moment we were born, and before!  The entire Universe is expanding, and it is doing that from our desires, our focus and our creations.  The Universe is neutral in that it does not care WHAT we are creating, as long as something is being created and the expansion continues.  Without that, the entire Universe and everything in it would cease to be. 

3) It is absolutely safe to trust – yourself, your Inner Being, Law of Attraction and The Universe.  That is one of the key “rememberings” that we are each here to attain.  We knew this emphatically in our non-physical state.  We knew it completely and totally, but again, it is in the “forgetting” and then RE-discovering that truth that there is so much joy, wonder and awe!

4) We are ALL magnificent creators.  We have all been that every single day of our lives.  We are not learning how to create; we are learning how to create deliberately.  We have been creating all along, every moment of every day we have been creating, that is a given, but since we did not know how we were doing it, we have been creating in directions that we do not prefer.  All we are doing now is learning how to do that with consciousness.

5) It is our conscious thoughts that are creating.  We do have unconscious and subconscious thoughts and beliefs, but unless those become active in our thoughts; and hence, active in our vibration, they are not creating our lives.  So while we may have “hidden” beliefs, the only ones we need work with are the ones that surface and become active.

The “issue” -- for all of us -- is that we do not (YET) fully believe the things I just wrote, we believe varying things that are contrary to those truths. One of the main characteristics of Law Of Attraction is that it will bring to us things and circumstances that reinforce whatever our beliefs are – regardless of whether the belief is “true” or not.  Once we have created a belief, Law of Attraction does what it always does -- brings us more of whatever we are focused on – in this case, bringing us “proof” or “reinforcement” for whatever belief we carry.  That does not make that belief “true” – but what we normally do is decide that it is “true” because we will have attracted numerous examples and have found “statistics that prove the truth” of it.  That is where we get into “trouble” – meaning that we have now created a belief that does not serve us, then, through Law of Attraction we have attracted data and experiences that reinforce it, which frequently leads us to then determine that it is a “FACT.”  Once we have done that, we no longer look at it, we simply accept it as “FACTUAL” and go on.  This is wonderful when what we are believing as “FACT” is in alignment with things we want; however, it becomes problematic when the “FACT” we are believing is contrary to our desires.

Many are working with affirmations, meditations and visualizations and yet feel that “it” (Law of Attraction’s power) is “not working”, or at least is not working in ALL areas of their life.  In reality “it” IS working, in every area, but what it is working with is your belief system BEHIND the affirmations, meditations and visualizations, and particularly those things you have determined to be “FACTS” when they are merely beliefs.  All of the “positive thinking” in the world will not overcome a belief that what you are trying to attract is “unlikely”, “against the odds”, or you do not “deserve” it, etc.  It can’t, because Law of Attraction is responding to the totality of your vibration -- not just your moment-to-moment thoughts, but your current thoughts blended with your beliefs, perspectives and attitudes.

But here is the GREAT NEWS.  We do not have to have a totally shifted belief in order to shift the proof we are receiving.  That is the process I speak of so often.  We can work with Law of Attraction and literally prove our new beliefs to ourselves as we go, incrementally.  Affirmations are a critical portion of the process; however, merely repeating affirmations is not enough by itself.  Once we become aware of a “truth” (such as “Life is meant to be easy.”), and begin affirming that it is a truth we want to believe, we set the “wheels in motion.”  Until then, nothing can happen.  But the other steps are crucial too.  I will go into more detail on the “other steps” in a minute, but I want to share a bit more on affirmations and emphasize that merely repeating affirmations in a rote memory kind of way will not do much, if anything, and often even works against our intentions.

For example, simply repeating the affirmation: “Life is easy” – if that has not been your experience and is not your current day belief – will do nothing other than cause your rational mind to argue with it, reminding you of all of the ways that life hasn’t been easy.  It may be an utterly true statement that “Life is easy”, but if that is not what you currently believe then you cannot just leap from your old belief into the new one, just like we cannot jump from despair into joy, because Law Of Attraction does not give us access to vibrations that are vastly different than the one we are currently in.  We have to move our vibration incrementally, so affirming in that way will only set us up to mentally argue, and therefore increase our resistance rather than decreasing it. 

There are three things I suggest regarding affirmations.  The first one is to state any affirmations in a way that you DO and CAN believe now – statements that are less of a “reach” for you.  In this example I would say:  “I choose to believe that life is easy” or “I attract evidence that shows me life is easy” or “Life is getting easier and easier for me as I more fully understand LOA” and other such softer statements.  As I become more convinced that life IS easy, then I can shift the verbiage in the affirmations. 

The second suggestion is to only do affirmations while already in a higher state of emotion/vibration.  Abraham suggests that we do our affirmations while we are in The Vortex, which is the same concept.  That way we are less likely to “argue” with it mentally, which allows the affirmation to settle into our being more profoundly.

The third point with affirmations is to watch self-talk, both internally and verbally, and do all we can to stop affirming things we do not want in our experience.  Any statement we make to ourselves that we believe is an affirmation, and will attract more of the same energy to it.  So saying that you are unlucky, or things don’t go well for you, or life is a struggle, or any such things are also affirmations, but they are affirming the very things we do not want.

Changing beliefs can feel like a daunting undertaking, and yet the actual “mechanics” of how it works are quite simple.  As we understand the process, and begin to work with it deliberately, we can see, and experience, how relatively easy it is to shift our beliefs.  It can take some time, especially if the belief in question is a deeply held one or has been there for a very long time, but the process is the same.

Here is a real-life example of how this works that happened with “My “Sweetie” and I.  This event was not a  “big thing” in our lives, and carried very little emotional attachment; however, it beautifully illustrates this concept.  

I’ve owned two Jeep Grand Cherokees in my life.  Somewhere in my past experience with these vehicles (it doesn’t matter where or when) I came up with the idea that most Jeep Grand Cherokees are owned and driven by men.  It seemed that I was the only woman that had one.  And, of course, the more I thought that (even though they were only passing thoughts with very little emotion) I saw more and more Jeep Grand Cherokees being driven by men; data that was reinforcing my belief to the point that I came to see it as a “FACT.”

A few years ago I was driving along with “Mr. Wonderful” and I happened to mention that I must be an anomaly because I am a woman that wants another Jeep Grand Cherokee; and (here is my belief being stated as a “FACT”):  “Most Jeep Grand Cherokees are owned and driven by men!”  He responded that in HIS experience it was just the opposite – he saw (and had developed a belief) that “Most Jeep Grand Cherokees are owned and driven by WOMEN!!”  

For several years prior to this event, we spent most of our time together in the same vehicle with the same opportunities to see it one way or the other.  But, Law of Attraction was fully active for each of us all the time, so the only ones I “noticed” were the ones that were in alignment with my belief that men drive them, while the only ones he “noticed” were in alignment with HIS belief that women drive them.  The exact same available data, but it was as though we each were “BLINDED” to anything other than what our individual beliefs were.

Now, AFTER having that conversation, we began to question our prior belief and we currently each see about an even split of men and women driving Jeep Grand Cherokees – we even laugh about it from time to time.  I’m positive that it was always evenly split everywhere we went, but we were each utterly incapable of seeing anything that was outside our individual belief system, regardless of what was actually there to see.  Law of Attraction was simply “reinforcing” each of our beliefs – whether it was “true” or not was irrelevant.  It was not a traumatic thing to change our belief, all it took was becoming aware of the belief we were holding, stop thinking of it as a “FACT,” and begin to allow in data that was outside of our previous belief system, namely to begin seeking and noticing evidence to the contrary to the belief we had carried.  Once we had each gathered “enough” new data, the belief shifted seemingly of its own accord.

That story illustrates the entire process, from beginning to end, in how we change beliefs, and is a perfect example of how easy it can be.  Like I said earlier, it may take a bit more time or effort if the belief is deeply carried and/or has been held a long time, but the process is the same.  Also, there are some things we can do that are a bit beyond this story, and I will indicate a few of them later, but this is the easiest and most effective method I have ever found to shift a belief.  To more completely illustrate the concept, I will walk through each of the elements of it and show you exactly how and why my belief changed.  This is the exact same process that I have used to shift myriad beliefs, and that many of my clients and friends use as well.

1) Become aware of what the belief is.  I began with a belief that only men drove Jeep Grand Cherokees.  Where the belief came from is irrelevant, but even though it was not a fact, I had developed the belief anyway, and once I believed it, LOA brought me enough evidence and “proof” that I stopped thinking of it as a belief and began to think of it as a  “FACT.”  Once that had been done, I no longer questioned it – I just affirmed the “truth” of the “fact” in my mind every time I saw a man driving a Jeep Grand Cherokee.  Most of the time I wasn’t even aware of doing that, it was pretty much just an automatic thing once the belief was in place.

2.) Question the “truth” of the current belief.  An event happened (the conversation with My Sweetie) that caused me to question my belief because HE had an exact opposite belief.  This part is crucial, because at the moment I no longer saw it as a “FACT”, I began to question the truth of it, and that is the moment when the belief began to lose it power.  I also powerfully stated my intention that I wanted to see and live in the truth rather than just a mere belief.  This is also an important point, because as I said earlier in the affirmations section, until we are clear in our intention that we want to believe and live in the truth, then nothing else can happen.

3) Request or seek out new data.  So I mentally asked for NEW DATA to “prove” which was correct, my original belief or My Sweetie’s belief.  Not that I wanted to prove him wrong or me right, I merely wanted to SEE the whole story.  Again, this is an important point, because if I am trying to “prove” something then LOA will again only show me what I already believe as true.  I had to open my mind to the POSSIBILITY that my belief was wrong – then LOA had total leeway to show me all of the data, rather than only the data that supported my original belief.

4) Keep an open mind and observe.  Within a very short time I began seeing woman AND men driving Jeep Grand Cherokees, and each time I did, the original belief lost more of its hold.  It is very important to note, here, that when I saw a man driving one (which matched my original belief) I did not begin telling myself that seeing that meant my original belief WAS true.  I continued to hold my mind open to the possibilities until enough data had come in to show me that it was more or less equal.  Both men and women drive that kind of vehicle in about the same percentage.  If I had not done that, if I had only used the men I saw as further” proof” then I would have cemented that original belief even more in place than it was before – even though it was not a fact.  It is imperative that we keep an open and questioning mind while doing belief work.

5.) The belief shifts of its own accord.  After enough data had come, in my belief seemingly changed of it’s own accord.  I do not recall a specific moment when I actually changed it – I just know that it changed because I had been open enough to see the new data LOA was bringing to me, and in that process my belief shifted.

There, in 5 relatively easy steps, is the process for changing a belief, and actually, only 4 of them are something we DO, the 5th one happens for us.  It is possible that a belief we have held for a long time, or one we believe deeply, or one that many other people also believe, would be more of a challenge and might take more time and data to shift, but it will shift if we stay with it.  It is also important to note that there is a period of time that I refer to as “belief limbo” where we are no longer holding fast to the old belief, but the new one hasn’t quite taken hold either.  That can be a slightly uncomfortable time, but if we just sit with that discomfort and keep our mind open, it will resolve itself as more data is attracted.

I mentioned earlier that there are some things we can do that are beyond the scope of this story, and the most important of those is to physically seek out new data in addition to asking for it to “come” to us.  This is an important point for those who want to affect change more quickly.  During the time of “belief limbo” we can actively seek out new information and data through a multitude of avenues.  If the beliefs we are wishing to shift are of a more “physical nature” (like the story of the Jeep drivers) we can utilize the Internet with all of its vast resources for finding information.  I could have gone through a Google search and probably come up with the data of men vs. women owners of Jeep Grand Cherokees and found the same information in less time.  In this instance; however, it was not a very “big thing” to me so I was quite content to just let whatever “new data” come via Law Of Attraction.

One caveat with this; however, and that is to know that we are not merely wanting to absorb the beliefs of “the world at large” – as so often those are also not in alignment with what our Inner Being/Soul/Source knows to be true.  When we are reaching for those kinds of Spiritual truths, our best bet is in seeking out information directly from our Inner Being through meditations and conversations, as well as seeking out other like-minded people.  There are literally thousands and thousands of such people on websites like FaceBook, as well as multitudes of powerful YouTube videos by Abraham, Bashar and others.   We can also attract much new data in reading books such as Abraham’s works; Neale Donald Walsch’s work with Conversations with God; Deepak Chopra’s many volumes; or Michael Talbot’s excellent work Holographic Universe, as well as many other authors.  There are wonderful movies such as What the Bleep Do We Know?, Peaceful Warrior, The Secret Behind The Secret, etc.  Of course one of the most powerful things we can do, and one that I wholeheartedly endorse, is to have support through a friend, a coach or LOA based group.  If you do not know of a group in your area, you may want to consider starting one.  The groups I have personally been involved with have been wonderful and very inspiring and uplifting.  The ideas and ways for attracting new data are as limitless as our imagination.  These kinds of energies are quite valuable especially during that “belief limbo state” when we are neither fully believing our old beliefs nor fully aligned with our new ones.

I also mentioned earlier that there are a few other ways that I know of that can also change a belief, and they can be quite effective, but most of them are not readily within our direct control.  One of them is to have someone that you utterly trust as an absolute authority on a subject tell you something that you then totally believe.  It is not a common occurrence, but it can happen.  One such incidence in my life was a doctor who told me (while I was quite young) that I had the ability to cure something that everyone believed was completely incurable, and that I could do so with nothing but the power of my own mind.  I was young, but I believed IN HIM so totally that I believed what he told me was true, and that level of belief was enough to overcome my original belief that what I had was “incurable.”  In fact, most people today still consider it incurable –but I know differently, because I cured it completely.  What happened was that my original belief was completely turned around because of my utter faith in him.  This is what happens with faith healing, or the miracles at Lourdes, and many things like that.  Those are all examples of people believing in something powerfully enough that it created what others would call miracles.  Such is the power of our beliefs.

Other ways that I know of that have changed people’s beliefs instantly are Near Death Experiences (I’ve known two such people who literally seemed like completely different people afterwards) as well as other types of profound and powerful Spiritual Experiences.  The Buddha sat under a tree for 7 days (if I remember correctly the way the story goes) and came out with total belief and utter clarity.  These are extreme examples, but I point them out because I want to be clear that the method I’ve outlined is not the only way.  I’m sure there are even more ways that I am not aware of, but the method I’ve explained to you works.  It has worked in many instances for me and for many that I have worked with and known.  It can take a bit longer than some of the more emphatic ways like N.D.E.’s or sitting under a tree for 7 days, but it is much easier, much less traumatic and in the long run, the way I always opt for – the EASY way.  : )

Any and all of these things are steps towards shifting any beliefs you may be holding that are not serving your current intentions.  If you have any questions or would like clarity on any of the things I’ve written, please feel free to contact me via email at lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net, or use the Contact Form here.  Remember to work with these things incrementally, and as always, be easy with yourself.  We did not develop our current beliefs overnight and it may take some time to shift them; but also knowing that doing this “work” consistently will change your life!

Lovin’ Livin’ – Livin’ Love,

Kitty

YES!  The very word embodies power and enthusiasm.  Few can say the word boldly without smiling broadly.  Even fewer can do that without a triumphant gesture like raising a fist as high as they can reach!

YES!  

And yet, how often do we actually greet the world with an enthusiastic YES?  Do we bound out of bed in the morning with YES! on our minds and in our hearts and energy?  Do we go through our days with a resounding YES! reverberating through our being?  For most, sadly, the answer is no.  And often not “just” a no, but a NO!  

As I work with people I consistently hear that things they are wanting to manifest in their lives are just not coming into physical, and they are stymied as to the “reason” for that.  They are doing everything “right” they say.  They do the visualizations, they imagine, they go through their day looking for things to appreciate and love, and yet it seems that there is something in everyone’s life that just doesn’t manifest.  For some it is financial abundance, for some it is love with an aligned perfect partner, for still others it is meaningful work, or a peaceful and beautiful residence.  For some it is all of those things.  Yet, when I discuss the power inherent in the energy of YES!, they are stymied.

So this month, at the behest of several people, I am offering a new 30-Day Challenge, and one that will create a “habit of being” that can shift energy from “Wanting” to “Receiving”, because if we are not in “Receiving Mode” we, quite logically, will not receive.  It is my hope that you will work with these ideas for the full 30-Days, but more, that you will let this energy permeate your very being so that it becomes not a 30-Day exercise, but your life’s energy!

Law of Attraction responds solely to our energy, and emitting a consistent, resounding and powerful YES! will shift that energy into Receiving Mode quickly.  Often; however, we water down our YESSES! into something much more closely resembling a NO! than a YES!  We do not do this intentionally, but we often do it nonetheless.  We do it outwardly when dealing with others, and we do it while entertaining our private thoughts.

When another asks something of us we say things like “okay” or “I suppose so” or even “I’ll try.”  These are not the same as YES! and they carry a much different energy.  When thinking of things we want we often engage in a litany of “negative what ifs” in our mind.  

We say: “I want an aligned mate” and then begin wondering what we will do if we attract someone who does things we don’t like, or has ideas, desires and opinions that don’t match our own.  Consequently, right in the privacy of our own mind, we water down the YES! into, at best, a “maybe” and often a fearful “NO, not THAT!”

If it is financial abundance we want, we water down our YES! with anxiety or worry over what we will do if others want to take it, or want us to give it to them, or tax implications, or fear that we do not have enough “financial savvy” to invest it “wisely” or, or, or.  All of these, and many more, re-form and re-shape our YES! into much, much less.  It is no wonder that those things do not flow easily into our physical experience.  We are often unwittingly sending out a signal that we are not even positive we want it!

So I will share some easy and fun “games” for shifting our day-to-day energy into ‘Receiving Mode’ with the simple energy of YES!   But before I get to that I want to talk just a bit more about the power of YES! and how it relates to the power of NO!

Many of you will have seen the movie “Yes Man” with Jim Carrey.  A funny movie with a very powerful message.  For those who have not seen it, the basic premise is that Jim Carrey’s character is a quite negative, down-trodden man for whom life is just one “bad break” after another.  He winds up going to a kind of “New-Agey” seminar where the concept is to make a covenant with yourself to say YES! to everything, to pass up no opportunity.  Well, the comedy ensues as he winds up saying YES! to every single thing that comes his way.  It leads to complications, and invades his new love interest, and he comes to see that while YES! is a powerful energy, it is also true that NO! is powerful.  The truest power is in being open to opportunities and then being very clear in our YES! or in our NO! and that our power is most present in our choice and our clarity.

This is what I want to convey.  Not that we will wind up saying YES! to everything that crosses out path, but that we will carry the energy of YES! strongly in our being, and yet will use our power of choice to be clear in our YESSES! and in our NOS!  These games and exercises are designed to break the habitual pattern of either “defaulting” to NO! or of watering our YESSES! down to such an extent that they become a NO!

So on with the FUN!

One of the easiest and most fun ways to begin shifting into YES! is to begin with everything in our world that automatically has a YES! answer.  Take a few minutes and write down things that are already true for you in the form of a question.  For me it might begin with:  Is my name Kitty?  Am I 54 years old?  Am I female?  Do I live in New Mexico? And so on.  Then I read the questions to myself and answer each one with a powerful, resounding, even LOUD Y-E-S!!  It adds even more power and emphasis if we do this out loud, but if that is not possible, then doing it emphatically in our mind will work too.  I try to do my entire list at least once each day, and as often as I think of it throughout the day I ask myself one (or more) of the questions from the list and respond vigorously, either out loud or mentally, with YES!

I listen throughout my day to hear others as they agree to things, with another person, on the phone, or even in an interaction with me.  If I hear the word YES! from them, I celebrate that in my mind and even exaggerate it to a more powerful, more enthusiastic YES!  I mentally congratulate them on their energy and mentally acknowledge that they are “like me” in their firm YES!  If I hear one of the lesser words of agreement, such as “okay” or “sure”, I immediate translate that in my mind to a resounding YES!  I look for as many opportunities to do this as I can – even within written words, on line or a book.

Writing is a powerful tool for attracting, as it incorporates more than just thought, it utilizes all three levels of creation (thought, word and deed) so I often will sit down and just begin to write out what I desire and then respond to that desire with as many forms of YES! as I can think of.  I imagine my Inner Being responding to me with that absolutely clear and resonant YES!  I remind myself that it is not some entity outside of myself that I want to agree, rather it is me agreeing with me – one aspect of me agreeing with another aspect of me – and that means I am in alignment with myself.

Practice saying YES! when you agree with others.  This is especially powerful with the spoken word when someone asks you a question or asks something of you.  It is not necessary that you scream the word at them verbally (that might not go over well with them, especially if the request was to take out the garbage and you reply with a LOUDLY HOLLERED Y-E-S!! [grin]) but as you hear yourself saying YES! in a normal speaking voice, include a BOOMING YES! in your mind.  Even on FaceBook or other websites you frequent, let your comments include a rich YES!  Those who know me from various websites I’m on will recognize that I do this often – sometimes with no other comment at all, just a large YES!

As you go to bed at night preparing to sleep, mentally review all the segments of your day that you liked and emphatically say YES! in your mind to each of them.  Of course, you can say that out loud too, but that might not be as conducive to sleep as you would want.  If thoughts come up of segments you did not prefer, just set those aside, and continue with the ones you did like and YES! yourself to sleep.

In the morning, before your feet hit the floor, begin your day with a resonant and powerful Y-E-S!!  I even add to this one with things like:  “YES! I’m alive.” and   “YES! I’m happy.” and  “YES! I’m eager for this day.”  Literally any phrases of that nature that comes to mind.

When you are spending money, whether shopping for food, gasoline, toys, or spending money for any reason, mentally exclaim YES!   YES! I have the money for this, and YES! I love that money flows, and YES! I am happy to have [fill in the blank for whatever you just purchased] and YES! I love having my bills paid.  I even do this if I buy a piece of gum in a vending machine!  YES! I love this gumball!!  It is particularly powerful to YES! it when you are spending money on something you are “treating” yourself to, like that scrumptious piece of Cheesecake you normally wouldn’t order.  When you do have it, be sure to YES! it with joy!

Whenever someone gives you a compliment or other gift, whether tangible and physical or not, exclaim YES! at least in your mind, and if appropriate to the situation (like someone just gave you a LONG AWAITED desire) say it out loud and as loud as the situation will allow.  I love getting gifts and compliments.  I do not live for them, I do not “NEED” them, but when they come I always whoop it up in my mind with YESSES!!  The other side of this one is to carry that energy of an unequivocal YES! when you compliment another or give a gift.  You need not say it, but the energy of that YES! will be received by the other, whether they indicate so or not.

Turn your historical NOS! into current day YESSES!  The older you are, the better this one works!  Think of situations from your past that turned out better than you thought it might have, but because you weren’t in the YES! frame of mind when it began you didn’t YES! it!  One from my childhood was the Christmas I was 7.  I had wanted a particular thing (I don’t recall what that specific thing was now) but I received a “Chatty Cathy” doll instead.  I was disappointed.  I didn’t want another doll!  I certainly did not YES! that doll at that moment.  But… I had so much fun with that doll.  She became my constant companion for a long time afterwards.  So now, I can go back in my mind to all the fun I had with her and I can exclaim my YESSES!   This is one we can do over and over, in writing or mentally, with any situation.

I love to YES! animals, and particularly when I am training horses.  Horses are very susceptible to energy, even more than other animals because they are prey animals rather than predators.  As I am working with them I exclaim YES! every time they “get” something I am showing them – no matter how “big” or “small” the accomplishment.  I YES! them out loud, I YES! them in my mind, I YES! them before I get there, I YES! them as I leave.  It is very effective for their training, and has the added bonus of increasing my vitality and energy as well.  I also YES! wild animals when I get the opportunity to see them.  I love wildlife, everything from birds, squirrels and rabbits (which are commonly seen here) to coyotes and roadrunners (which are more elusive.)  I YES! the mere fact that I was able to see them and if I have an opportunity to interact with them – as I have done with the Hummingbirds in summertime – I especially YES! those moments.  I YES! puppy kisses and kitten purrs.  I even YES! pictures of animals!

Another opportunity to YES! ourselves is whenever we have accomplished something we set out to do.  It need not be a huge undertaking.  We can YES! ourselves when we successfully send a message on line and it gets where it’s going.  Every accomplishment is an opportunity to YES! ourselves.  If we are reaching for a “big” goal, like getting a degree, be sure to break that down into smaller increments and YES! yourself along the way.  YES! every paper turned in, YES! every class attended even.  [grins]

Turning that one around is also quite powerful.  When someone you know accomplishes something they had been working toward, YES! them.  YES! them in your mind, YES! them in writing with a note or card of congratulations, YES! them verbally if you have a chance to talk with them.  One of the surest indicators that we are in ‘Receiving Mode’ is when we are truly happy for another when they accomplish something, particularly if it is something that we also want to accomplish.  So YES! those people every chance you get!

There are a few things to get your creativity going.  Think of other ways to YES! yourself, to YES! others, and to YES! life itself.  I promise you, as you say YES! to life, life will more profoundly than ever say YES! to you.

As always, as you come up with other ideas and fun ways to YES!, please share them with me.  You can contact me either through the Contact Page here on the website, or you can write to me directly at lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net.  I am always eager to hear more fun ways to bring YES! into my life.

Lovin’ Livin’ – Livin’ Love – Livin’ YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kitty

PS – As I went to save this document to my computer’s hard drive I got a dialog box telling me that it already exists on my hard drive.  It asked me if I wanted to write over that previously saved document.  I’m guessing you can actually FEEL the giddy JOY I had as I clicked Y-E-S!    : )

This month I am inspired to share thoughts on Appreciation as a new “Challenge”.  As we have been focusing on Love, and all the various “ways” that we can experience Love, I have been often reminded that Appreciation is the “Language of Love”.

Knowing, as we do, that we will always “get” more of whatever we focus upon, that the infinitely powerful and fair Law of Attraction will always match our vibration, then we can see that continuing to focus on those things we desire to have in our life in greater abundance will certainly bring more of that energy to us.  Many of the people who have been playing with these challenges have written to me, wanting to continue to expand their energy within the “higher vibratory levels”, so I have agreed to continue sharing ideas and “games” that can help.

As I think about what it feels like to Love and be Loved, I realize that one of the most powerful components of that is both feeling appreciated by others and of showing appreciation for self and others.  There are multitudes of ways to do this, and I will give some ideas and examples from my own life, but first, I want to talk just a bit about the energies behind being thankful, having gratitude and feeling appreciation.

Many believe that these words are fully interchangeable, and while they certainly can be, they can also carry very different vibrations too.  Gratitude and thankfulness can feel very open and loving for some, and yet for others they can carry a more negative vibration – in that it can feel more of an obligation, something “owed” for something someone else did in the past, and can carry a feeling of “should” as in “I should” be grateful for such-and-such.  Appreciation, on the other hand, seems to be cleaner and more “positive” for most people, something more freely given, lacking that “should” energy.  Additionally, appreciation generally feels more “present moment”, more focused in the now and extending into the future, more than being based on a “past event”; and I have not heard of anyone for whom appreciation felt obligatory in any way.  So I encourage you to look within to see how each of these words feel for you, and then “use” whichever one feels the best.  There is no right or wrong in this, it is all a very personal experience, so be open to what feels best for you at any given time.

Our Inner Being/Source is in a constant state of appreciation and Love, for all things all the time, and the more we stay in the vibration of appreciation the more in alignment we will then be with our Inner Being/Source.  It is not necessary for us to be there all the time, but it is certainly advantageous for us to be there as often as we can remember to.  There are many ways to incorporate these ideas into our day, to help us remember to appreciate.  My two favorites are to use “clock” time and the daily “passages” as reminders.

"Clock time” reminders means that once per “clock hour” I spend a couple minutes focusing on, and actually feeling, the vibration of appreciation.  If I am awake for 16 hours of the day, and I spend just 2 minutes of each of those hours focusing on appreciation, then in this alone I have invested more than half an hour solidly in the vibration that will bring more of what I desire into my life.

By “passages” I mean the natural movement from one segment of the day into the next, such as from morning to afternoon, from afternoon to evening or from evening to night.  Since these “passages” are often accompanied by mealtimes, that can be an easy reminder to focus.  I spend some time as I awaken each morning to appreciate, then again at lunchtime, dinnertime and again just before sleep.  The morning and bedtime periods have the added “plus” of setting the tone for our sleep cycle and for setting the tone for our day.

I also encourage you to take a few moments any other time that this “challenge” should come into your mind, and of course, any time something happens that naturally brings the feeling of appreciation, I fully encourage you to “milk it” -- expand it in your mind and in your vibration as much as you can.  There need be no limit to the number of times or the amount of time to appreciate, and the more we do, the better we will feel immediately and the more we will be attracting all of the things we desire to flow more abundantly into our lives.

We can, at any time and under any circumstances, use our thoughts to bring the feeling of appreciation merely by thinking about things we appreciate.  A short list could include:  Nature, our Inner Being’s loving guidance, Life, itself, Source, beloved pets, favorite animals, plants, trees, singing birds, the air we breathe, the oceans, wildlife, sunshine, breezes, changing seasons, holidays, friends, loved ones, our body, our mind, our imagination – the list could go on and on.  Literally everything that we like in our lives is a possible “source” for bringing our vibration into appreciation, past, present or future, real or imagined.  One of my favorites imaginings is to appreciate all the wonderful myths that abound, in particular, Pegasus.  I love appreciating the energy embodied in Pagasus, the power, the magnificence, the beauty, the joy.  I imagine myself astride this glorious being, feeling the power of the wings and appreciating that my own imagination can bring me to such a powerful feeling.

Feel the appreciation for each and every manifestation that comes to you, appreciating your magnificent Self and Source, knowing all of life is a co-creation.  I use a “Manifestation Journal” in which I list all of the fun and wonderful manifestations as they come to me.  Some have been “small”, some have been huge and life-changing, but each and every one is my own creation.  During those moments when I feel down, powerless or uninspired, I can pull out this list and appreciate myself for all that I have created, reminding myself that I can create anything merely by the power of my focus.

Appreciate all the synchronicities, “driftwood” and alignments that flow through your day.  I particularly love it when I happen to notice when the clock reads 11:11, or 2:22, or progressive numbers like 12:34; or a check or bill comes to $123.45, or anything like that.  Those times come around twice each day, but I love it when I have that split second of inspiration to NOTICE that it is that time.  I know that is communication from my Inner Being and it always feels like I am being reminded that I am “right on time” and that everything is flowing in perfect timing and synchronicity in my life.  I use those moments to appreciate my Inner Being and appreciate myself for my willingness to listen to my Inner Being.

Express a heartfelt verbal or written Thank You to family members, friends or others in close proximity.  I try to be specific and not just say: “Thank You” or even “Thank You for doing the dishes” but more of “Thank You for doing the dishes, I really appreciate that your doing them freed me up to ________ , which I really enjoy.”  Doing it this way offers the other person an opportunity to have a moment to actually feel the appreciation, rather than think it was just an “automatic politeness” not truly felt by me.

Extend a written or verbal Thank You to people that you do not see often do things that you appreciate – your mailman and the mail sorters in the Post Office; the person that delivers your propane; the people who stock the shelves, clean the floors, or work “behind the scenes” in the butcher shop, bakery or other areas of the store you frequent; the dishwasher in your favorite restaurant; the person who keeps the tools clean in your dentists’ office; the maid at a hotel you stay in.  Again, the list is potentially endless.

Speak or write a letter of thanks to people you see infrequently but appreciate.  People such as your Tax Preparer,  Accountant, Dentist or Dental Hygienist, Mechanic, Attorney.

Write a short but specific Thank You note to the manager and/or boss of people you come into contact with such as clerks, cashiers, secretaries, receptionists, etc.  Tell them specifically of your appreciation for those people and why.

Leave little notes for loved ones.  This is particularly nice if you leave them in little out of the way places that they will find later.  A couple ideas from things I do:  Since my sweetie is the one that normally takes out the garbage, I left a note under the outdoor garbage can lid so that the next time he took out the garbage he would see it.  Since he loves to read I will put little “Post-It notes” on a page of his book a couple chapters ahead of where he is now reading.

Share your abundance with servers, hairdressers, maids at hotels, etc. in the form of a tip AND by writing a positive comment of appreciation on the check if there is one.  Most restaurants have a place for comments on the check, and most managers give great credence to them as they know that only about 1- 2% of the people will take the time to fill them out at all, and even fewer will take the time to give “positive feedback.”

Think of people from your past that helped you learn, grow or expand and send them a heartfelt letter of appreciation to let them know specifically how they helped you.  We all have people like this, and often the person involved has no idea of the impact they had on your life.

Show appreciation for others by actively listening to them when they speak.  Be truly interested in what they have to say, without mentally rehearsing what you are going to say next.  Ask questions, and then truly listen to their answers.  Feeling appreciated often begins with feeling heard.

Appreciate other by encouraging their dreams.  Instead of being the cynic or “Sad Sack” in their lives, appreciate their courage and determination to “go for it.”  Celebrate with them and believe in their ability to create/manifest their heart’s desires.  This is a powerful way to appreciate them and to appreciate yourself; because you know that as they focus on and manifest their heart’s desire, and as you add energy to that happening, you are also expanding and growing into your heart’s desires.

Don’t assume that the way you feel appreciated is automatically the way another will feel appreciated.  Ask them what would make them feel appreciated.  I’m reminded of the fact that people have different views about touch.  Some love lots of physical contact, others prefer way less.  So an activity like stroking another person’s hair might feel to you like you are appreciating them, for that person it may feel like smothering or just “too much.”  So for those close to you – ask them what feels good to them, and then find ways to show your appreciation in those ways.

As much as possible focus on those things that you appreciate naturally and easily, but also incorporate (as much as you can and still feel good) appreciating the contrast in your life and the “scoundrels” who bring you some of that contrast.  Each and every moment of contrast is a moment of knowing what you don’t want so it more clearly magnifies what you DO want.  Appreciate the knowing and the clarity that these contrasty moments bring for you.  Appreciate the “scoundrels” who bring you these situations of illumination.

All of these things you can do for YOURSELF as well.  Write “I Love Me” notes, dated, to yourself, and then put them in a place that you likely won’t find for some time.  Remind yourself that when you learn something new, or expand into some new “A-HA” moment, that you are growing and becoming more of Who You Really Are.  And as others express their appreciation of you, take a few seconds to let that soak into your core, appreciating yourself for whatever you did that they are appreciating.

Use your imagination to create ever more ways to appreciate all the wonder of life.  Have fun with this, play with the energy of appreciation.  The possibilities are truly endless.  And as always, if you’re willing, I’d love for you to share your ideas and creations.   You can write to me through the Contact page on this website or by writing to me directly at lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net.  I love hearing of new and inventive ways to bring appreciation into my life as well.

Lovin’ Livin’ – Livin’ Love – and Appreciatin’ YOU!

Kitty

You are a miracle!  An amazing miracle of life and Love!

Many people hear those words and have a hard time applying them, really feeling them inside, but an inability to feel the truth of these words does not make them any less true.  You are a miracle!

So many are now understanding the Law Of Attraction and the immense value of being in alignment with their Inner Being/Source/God; but few are realizing that the #1 aspect of their Inner Being/Source/God is that of abiding unconditional Love, and that the most advantageous thing any of us can do to be more in alignment is to deeply and unconditionally Love ourselves.  That one act, in and of itself, will bring us profoundly into alignment.

One of the most potent ways for us to connect and align with our Inner Being is to allow ourselves to just DO those things that feel good to us, without all the "baggage" of guilt, fearing failure, feeling “unproductive,” etc. Finding and doing the things we enjoy is a profound act of Self Love, which automatically means we are in alignment with Source, because Source profoundly Loves us.  And truthfully, until we can find a way to do that, we cannot hear much from our Inner Being – because we are too "full" of that old garbage to let anything else in.

Last month as many of us were focusing on Love I received numerous emails from people saying that they were having some difficulties with the Self-Love portion; the consensus being that a month of focusing on Self-Love specifically would be wonderful.  What better month could there be for that than the “Month Of Love” – February?  So I will share some things we can all do to increase the level of Love we feel for ourselves.  The first portion is taken from the prior Article, for the benefit of those who did not get to read last month’s Article, and because these points are crucial to learning to Love ourselves more.  Then I will share numerous other specific, and fun, ideas.

From Last month’s Article:

Our ability to truly Love ultimately grows out of our Love of Self, so the more we can learn to Love ourselves the more Love we will have to give and send out to others, and hence, the more Love we will receive from others.  Love begets Love, and there is no place where this is more true than in the energy of Self Love.

One of the travesties of life as we have been living it is that most of us treat ourselves worse than any other person we interact with.  We say things to ourselves that we would never – EVER – dream of saying to another person, not even an “enemy!”  Often we are merciless in our criticisms, judgments and even verbal attacks on ourselves.  We frequently expect a level of perfection and flawlessness that is beyond unreasonable, it is utterly impossible, and yet we persist in doing it.  It is not that we actually want to do that, we have been taught to do that.  For those who truly desire more Love in the their lives; however, it is crucial that we begin (or continue) to literally “lighten up” on ourselves and turn that trend around as best we can.  Give ourselves the benefit of the doubt when we err or see that we could have acted better, while at the same time learning to truly appreciate and Love our gloriousness and our beauty.  No matter who we are, we are glorious, we are beautiful, and the more we can see that, acknowledge that and express Love for that, the happier we will be and the more Love we will attract into our lives.

We show ourselves Love by honoring our true desires and inspirations.  When we allow what is in our deepest heart to “bubble up” into our conscious awareness we are Loving ourselves at a very high level.  “To Thine Own Self Be True.”  Those are more than just pretty words, they are a powerful “prescription” for happiness and Love in our lives.

Taking time to pamper ourselves in little – and not-so-little – ways is a supreme act of Self Love.  Allowing ourselves the time to do what makes our heart sing, or calms our being, or delights the child in us – and doing that regularly.  The ideas of what to do are as limitless as your imagination and desire.  Be creative.  Have fun with this.  Let the little person that you once were (and still are, down inside) help you find those things that feed your being, and then Love yourself enough to take the time and energy to do them.

Love yourself by allowing your uniqueness to shine.  Let your little idiosyncrasies flow.  Most of those little things (and maybe not so little things) are portions of what make you, YOU!  Individual, distinct from any other, absolutely a one-of-a-kind masterpiece!  Revel in those things, show them forth and know that those who Love you will delight in them too.

Honor your feelings.  All emotion is direct, conscious communication from your Inner Being/Soul.  Allow yourself to see, acknowledge and feel all of your emotions, while realizing that behaviors and actions are not the same thing as emotions.  Feeling say, Angry or Sad, is not the same as acting Angry or Sad.  Most of our “problems” in life are because we have been taught to deny and repress many of our Spirit-given and Sacred emotions.  All of our emotions are connected, and to the extent that we are denying or repressing one (or several) we are also blocking Love.  If you desire help, if you feel that you need guidance or assistance in this, then Love yourself enough to give yourself that.  Find someone, a therapist, a coach, a mentor, a friend, or a support group that can help.

Think of things you genuinely like, appreciate and Love about yourself.  These can be tangible things (like your hair, smile, or height) or intangible things (like your humor, intelligence, ability with numbers or writing, or willingness) – literally anything you like/Love about yourself right now, as you are at this moment.  Do this often, and especially any time you are feeling criticized or judged by another.  Remind yourself that it is YOUR opinion of you that matters most, and if you are being who you choose to be, then you are exactly where you are by conscious choice and deliberate intent.  Any opinion by any other is nothing more than that – an opinion.

Now, on to some “new” ideas:

Think of someone that you dearly Love.  What kinds of things do you do for them/with them to show them that you Love them?  Do those same things for yourself.  If you cheerfully prepare a meal for them, or change the oil in their car, or purchase some little “I Love You” trinket, consider doing that same activity for yourself.  Buy yourself a Valentine, and write in it the kinds of things you would write to your most beloved “other,” send yourself a “Love Letter” via email or the post office, buy yourself flowers or chocolates, anything that you might do for another you can also do for yourself.

Now, think of what you would like another to do for you to show you that they Love you.  What kinds of activities say “I Love You” to you?  If you Love having someone gaze into your eyes with Love, then gaze into your own eyes with a mirror with that same Love flowing.  If you feel Loved when someone takes you out to a nice dinner or show, then take yourself to a nice dinner or show – with another person or not – but be sure it is where you want to go and what you want to do.

Let your creative side out to play.  It doesn’t matter if you are an “Artist” or a “Painter” or a “Musician” or “Writer” or whatever, just let your being flow into any creative endeavor.  Get some crayons, paints, scissors, glue, clay or anything that you like and allow yourself to just create with color or shapes.  Get a musical instrument (or make one) and just have fun seeing what creative “noises” you can come up with.  Sing!  It doesn’t matter if you have a “good voice” – just sing because you can!  Create “Vision Boards” by cutting out anything that catches your eye in a magazine or anywhere else and attach it to your board.  It can be a board of “desires” for those things you want to manifest, or it can just be a board of “colors” that you think are attractive, or shapes, or just about anything.  It need not have any “purpose” other than allowing yourself to play and be creative.

Make a list of things that make you smile.  Movies, quotes, pictures, things in nature, songs, activities, memories, etc. and then do at least 6 of them every day – more if you are willing.  Find things to add to your list each day as well.  Some may take some time, like watching a movie, others just take seconds, like calling a memory to mind.  I have a favorite memory from many years ago of a particular baby that I saw in a restaurant.  I had no idea who it was, and have never seen that child again, but that baby’s grin was absolutely infectious, and his giggle was light enough to light an entire room!  To this day, just bringing that baby’s face to mind brings a huge smile to my face.  Another is the feeling of stepping off the airplane in Hawaii the first time and the intense sweet aroma of all the flowers!

Let others pamper you.  Go for a massage, manicure, pedicure, new hairstyle.  Go to a Day Spa and get the whole treatment!  Give the keys to your car to the Valet to park for you, rather than parking yourself and walking.  The next time someone offers to do something for you, say a neighbor offers to watch the kids, or pick something up at the store for you, let them – and be sure to remind yourself that doing so is an act of Loving yourself, of affirming your worth and your value.

Treat yourself to nice things occasionally.  If you are prone to staying in a “Motel 6” or other economy hotel when you are traveling, stay in a really nice motel at least once in a while.  Find one with a Hot tub and use it.  Call Room Service.  Consider flying First Class!  The next time you purchase sheets for your bed, get something with a high thread count or a fabric that you find particularly luxurious.  Love yourself enough to treat yourself to the things you want, but often put off.

We all have a “Someday List.”  Those are the things we want to do, but continue to put off for a “better time.”  Maybe it is having lunch with a particular friend, or something small like that.  Express Love for yourself by doing at least one “something” from your “Someday List” each month/week.  It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just something you enjoy but have not taken the time/money/energy to do.

Reward your accomplishments, whether they are “big” or “small.”  If it is a particularly “large” accomplishment, like getting a degree, then be sure to reward yourself incrementally, not just the day of graduation.  If you face a difficult challenge and see it through, be sure to pat yourself on the back and do something to commemorate the moment.

Fire yourself from those unhealthy, thankless “jobs” like being “co-dependant” and care-taking others’ feelings.  Then, hire yourself for those things that you Love to do!  Once you have officially “fired yourself” it becomes easier to remind yourself that those are activities that you no longer engage in.  One of my clients was a great decision maker and found that she would often make difficult decisions for her family and friends.  Of course, this frequently “backfired” when things didn’t go well, and she found herself in resentment.  After all, she was “only trying to help them.”  She decided it was time to quit making other people’s decisions for them and officially fired herself as “decision maker.”  Now she kindly, but firmly, refuses to make decisions for anyone but herself, and her relationships flow much easier.

Visualize yourself 5 years into the future and have a visit with “that” you.  In your mind, sit down and have a coffee or tea with that “future you” and let him/her tell you how amazing you are and all that you have accomplished in the last 5 years.  Let “that” you express how being where you are today is the perfect “place” to be to get where you are going to be in 5 years.  Be creative with this one, see yourself doing and being exactly what you want to be doing or being in 5 years, and then let the reality of that time flow into your now.

Seek out and connect with as many “like-minded” people as you can.  There are so many out in the world at large, as well as on FaceBook and other similar sites.  Set an intention for them to come into your life, and when you have an inspiration to connect with another on this level, follow the hunch.  Talk to them, spend time with them, even if only a few minutes each day, and Love yourself by uplifting them and being uplifted by them.

I saved the best one for last!  The power in this one is knock-your-socks-off amazing – but it will take some courage and commitment.  And that is to Tithe!  10% -- off the top -- to YOURSELF!   That 10% (which I call “Kid Money”) is set aside, not to be used for bills or other “necessities” – and can be spent immediately on anything you wish, saved for a larger purchase, given away, even thrown away!  It is yours to do with as you desire at any given moment.  When I suggest this to clients I quite frequently am met with a veritable brick wall of resistance!   People tell me that they cannot possibly do this, that it feels “irresponsible” and “excessive.”  I had much the same reaction years ago when I first heard of it, but the merits of tithing to create abundance are much too well documented to ignore, and the idea of tithing to myself as a way to show Love to myself was an unprecedented thing at that time in my world.  That was in the early 1990’s, and I agreed to commit to “tithing 10% to myself” for a period of one year.  I have not stopped yet.  Further, everyone that I have suggested this to who has actually done it for one year has also continued the practice.  There are so many wonderful advantages to doing this that it would take another full article to enumerate them all, but there is an old saying that sums it up pretty well.  “If you want to see a person’s priorities in life, follow the money trail.”  That is quite true, and if we do not Love ourselves enough to tithe just 10% then what does that say about our priorities?  How much do we really Love ourselves?  Especially if we are working to earn the money in the first place!  Are we not worth just 10% of our own earnings to do with as we please?  The truth, for most people, is that they wind up spending the money anyway, but they are then inundated with guilt and remorse for having “taken” the money to do so.  With tithing, there is no “taking” involved.  It is freely given and freely spent, and expresses Self-Love in a most profound way.  This step truly can take the Self-Love concept from something we think about and talk about to something that we actually do in a physical way, completing the 3-step process of creation:  Thought, word and deed.

So, for those who are wanting a more visceral and profound level of connection and Love in their lives, these are some ideas to get started with.  There are as many ways to express Self-Love as we can dream up, and I hope that as you come up with new ideas you will share them with me.  You can do so through the Comment Tab here or via my email: lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net.  The more we focus on Love, in general, and Self-Love in particular the more we will be emitting the energy of Love, and Law of Attraction will do what Law of Attraction always does – bring us more of the energy that we put out.  I will delight in hearing how many delicious ways Love flows into your life as you put these ideas into practice.

Lovin’ Livin’ and Livin’ Love,

Kitty

For those who took the “30-Days Of Play Challenge,” and for those who did not, today I am inspired to follow it up with a new challenge.  We have been playing our way through the month of December, a frequently stressful time of year, and hopefully, doing that has helped to lighten the atmosphere of the “season” to the energy of PLAY AND FUN!  This is a wonderful way to end a year, with the vibration of joy and fun in our hearts and on our minds.

Today is January 1, 2011.  Today we begin a New Year.  A brand new, unexpressed year of infinite potential and possibility.  We have set the stage for a tremendously wonderful New Year, we are bubbling over with enthusiasm and joy from our wonderful month of playing, but we can take it farther than that!  If we shift our attention a bit, while continuing in the energy of play and fun, and begin to focus more directly on Love as well, we can set a solid and powerfully resonant “tone” for this new year in a way that few, if any, of us has consciously done before.  Spirit is guiding me to share some of the ways that I deliberately focus on Love, ways that I actively bring the energy of Love into my life.  So, here we go, on to a new adventure; one that is sure to bring more – and then still more – Love into your life.

Focusing on Love, specifically and deliberately, consciously and with awareness, over a period of time can truthfully set the tone for your entire life.  It shifts your vibration; literally calibrating your energy signature to the frequency of Love, and when we emit an energy signal that is clear, strong and focused, Law of Attraction will bring that energy back to us in kind.  Same energy, at the same intensity as we emit.  So the more we do this, the more engaged we become in the exercise, the clearer and more focused we will become, and the deliciously consistent Law of Attraction will then bring us exactly that. 

I have done this exercise many times, in fact, portions of it are part of my day-to-day, indeed, even moment-to-moment, life.  I assure you that doing this can, and will affect every area of your life, every relationship, every affiliation, and will bring more aligned relationships into your life.  It will affect relationships with yourself (our most important relationship) and the relationships you have with your children, your mate, your siblings, your parents, your extended family, your acquaintances, your co-workers/clients, even the checkout people at the grocery store! Emitting a strong signal of Love will affect every relationship in your life now, and every new one you attract.

We have all heard it said so often that “Love is all there is” and “Love is the answer.”  With so much repetition, even though we feel the truth of them, these phrases have become rather trite, cliché sounding.  But there is a reason they have withstood the test of time.  They are true!  Love is all there is, and Love is the answer!  Many people think that we are to Love everyone, and everything all the time – and while that is a lofty and worthwhile goal, it is not necessary.  It is not how many things, people and situations we Love that matters, it is how clear and consistent our “Love energy signal” is that matters.  We could, feasibly, emit a powerful energy of Love even if there were only one thing in our lives that we actually did Love – provided we focused on that one thing consistently and while actually feeling the energy of Love.

Love has been thought of as the opposite of Hate, but they cannot truly be opposites, because in order to “Hate” one has to care, and the act of caring is a form of Love.  Love has also been thought of as the opposite of Fear, and while it is true that Fear is the absence of Love, even that is not truly an opposite (in Ultimate Reality) because more strictly thinking, an absence of something is just that – absence – so it is not a true opposite.

So what is the opposite of Love?  I have come to see that Love, being whole and complete within and of itself, has no opposite.  Fear, the absence of Love, is really something of a miracle of our physical minds.  We have actually created a way, devised a way, to express something that does not even exist!  How does one express something that does not exist?  In any other area of our lives we can see that to express something that is actually only the absence of something else would be improbable (at best) to express, and yet, we have found a way to do that with the absence of Love.  Interesting.  For some this may only feel like semantics, but if we really look at it, we can see that expressing Fear is an imaginary, albeit ingenious, thing, and this awareness can aid us immensely in letting go of any Fear that we might be feeling.  As pure Spirit inhabiting a physical body, we are Love.  So to express Love is merely the act of expressing Who We Really Are.  Feeling or expressing Fear is an act of expressing Who We Are Not.

So, with all that said, I will share some of the multitudes of ways that we can more consciously “vibrate” at the energy of Love, and thereby, attract more Love.  The ways are truly as limitless as our imagination, but here are some thoughts, ideas and activities that can get us moving in the direction of Love.

For simplicity sake I will break this down into three components:  the feeling of Love coming to us, the feeling of Love being sent out by us, and the feeling of Loving ourselves.  These are arbitrary divisions, as all Love is just Love, with no actual comings or goings; but I have found it immensely helpful (for myself and others) to create these imaginary divisions and then work with them individually.  If you find that they blur and blend together, all the better, because that is a reflection of truth – they really are all the same – but working with them in their separate components can be very empowering.  So I will break this down into those three aspects here and give examples of how we can more completely feel the energy of Love day-to-day, even minute-to-minute.

Love Coming To Us:

Love “arrives” in our experience in more ways than we can even imagine, every day, all the time.  However, if we discount those ways, if we do not value them, then for our experience they might as well not have ever happened.  At that moment we have literally “cheated ourselves” out of a moment to feel Loved.  We all do that, we have been taught to do that from our earliest lives; but if we are willing to consciously and deliberately accept those energies into our being we will be delightfully surprised at how much Love is actually coming to us on a regular basis.  [A brief caveat is in order here.  An absence of these things does not necessarily equate to an absence of Love, as there are many, many reasons that others do not do these things, but the existence of these things is absolutely the existence of Love coming to us.  So look for and take in any of these that you see, but it is most advantageous (to ourselves) to always give others the benefit of any doubt if they do not act in these ways.]

Smiles.  Any time someone smiles at you; family, friends, strangers, anyone, any time.  If a person smiles at you, especially if they are looking you in the eye, they are saying “I see you” and “I Love you.”

Kind Gestures.  These can be anything from a child running up to give you a hug, a friend shaking your hand, a stranger holding a door open for you, someone pointing out that you dropped something – literally any kind gesture, large or small, is an act of Love.

Gifts.  A gift can be something tangible, but it can also be something intangible, such as someone “gifting” to you their time, their attention, their knowings and wisdom, even the act of a person “gifting” their energy to you or good intentions.  We so often overlook these, and yet they are all gifts of Love.

Overt Demonstrations.  A Lover hugging or kissing you, romantic and/or sexual encounters, someone taking you out to a dinner, play, movie or any other mutually enjoyable activity, holding your hand, reaching over to brush hair from your eyes, or even getting you a glass of water when you are thirsty.  These are moments when another has put their wants/needs/desires aside to express Love for you.  And if they are doing it because they Love doing things for you, then it is even more potent – like a “double Love whammy” because that means they are Loving themselves in the act of Loving you.

Words.  Words are powerful.  They carry energy.  Direct verbal comments, such as “I Love You” are obvious, but there are other more subtle communications that we often miss.  Any time someone asks you for your opinion, they are showing Love by desiring and valuing your opinion.  They may or may not “take your advice,” but asking for it is still a powerful statement of Love.  Saying “Please” and “Thank You” carry the energy of respect, and therefore, Love, even though it is true that many use those phrases automatically, they still carry the energy of Love.  Any time someone is sharing of their own deepest heart, or their desires and dreams, that is an act of trust, and therefore, Love.

“Virtual World” Love.  Getting a personally written email or even just a forward.  Someone had to think of you and desire to connect with you anytime they send that.  With so many of us on various social websites (such as FaceBook, Twitter, Linked In, etc.) the acts of Love are so numerous it is impossible to count or categorize them all.  Every comment, every “Like,” every picture posted, every status, every private message or comment, even the gifts given on the applications such as FarmVille.  Every one of those things is an act of Love coming to you.  

Sending Love Out:

Any and all of the things listed above can be turned around (so-to-speak) and we can engage in doing them as well. The “trick” is to acknowledge what we are doing, to actually feel ourselves in the energy of Love, to do them with conscious intent and awareness of what we are sending out, rather than doing them on any kind of “auto-pilot” energy.  It is not important whether we know if the other person receives it as Love, what is important to and for us is that we actually feel the Love being “sent” out.  Seeing ourselves act in Loving ways (which always means a giving without expectation of a receiving) is one of the most powerful ways that we can feel Love in our lives.

Other than the items listed above, we can “send out” Love in many other ways.  We can do that in how we approach the tangible objects that we own.  We do not “Love” the thing, necessarily (although we might) but we can treat those objects with Love by how we handle them.  Washing our dishes while feeling appreciation for the fact that we have dishes to eat from and cook with, cleaning our car while valuing all the comfort and ease that it affords us, and many such activities can allow us to feel Love as we do them, rather than possibly feeling resentment at “having” to do them.

Taking time to send out what I call “appreciation notes” is a potent way to feel the Love that we have for another.  It need not be long or “mushy,” just a brief note that tells someone that we appreciate them or something they did for us, the more specific the better.

Realizing that when we do something for another, we are doing that of our own free will and choice, and that is an act of Love.  These can be “big” things or “little” everyday things.  We all do them all the time, so it is marvelous to acknowledge what we are doing and why – that we are doing them to express the Love that is inside us.  Again, it is not important that the other acknowledge the Love, because we are not looking for kudos or trying to “get Love” by giving Love, this is about just doing whatever we feel inspired to do while consciously being aware that it is from the energy of Love that we do it.

Sincere Compliments.  We can find ways to compliment anyone anywhere, there is always something about another that we can appreciate, and taking a moment to express that appreciation is a powerful way to show Love.  Even the cashier at the grocery store is a “candidate” for this – complimenting her/him on their smile or ease with which they are doing their job.  This one has the added benefit that most everyone will favorably respond to a sincere compliment, which will then be a moment of them showing us Love as they let it in and appreciate our having shared it.  Again, if they do not respond favorably, that is fine (and certainly has more to do with their ability to receive a compliment than anything about you) but in any event you will know that you shared something true and Loving with them.

One of my favorite ways to feel Love in my life is to just sit by myself and think of someone I Love and visualize myself sending little hearts and other symbols of Love to them.  If I know them well enough to know what their favorite thing is, I incorporate that in the visualization as well.  An example of that would be if I know a person who adores birds, I would send beautiful, brightly colored imaginary birds flitting and flying to them, maybe see them landing on the person’s hand.  It delights and amazes me how much this little exercise can shift the energy of a relationship.  Even when the other has no idea I have done it, often, the next time I see that person the Love that flows between us is nearly palpable.  And even if that does not occur, I always feel so good at the end of such a visualization because I am flowing Love into, through, and out of my very being.  I highly recommend this exercise for any person at any time, but it is extremely potent for any relationship that is strained or in a moment of “contrast.”

Loving Our Beautiful SELVES:

Our ability to truly Love ultimately grows out of our Love of Self, so the more we can learn to Love ourselves the more Love we will have to give and send out to others, and hence, the more Love we will receive from others.  Love begets Love, and there is no place where this is more true than in the energy of Self Love.

One of the travesties of life as we have been living it is that most of us treat ourselves worse than any other person we interact with.  We say things to ourselves that we would never – EVER – dream of saying to another person, not even an “enemy!”  Often we are merciless in our criticisms, judgments and even verbal attacks on ourselves.  We frequently expect a level of perfection and flawlessness that is beyond unreasonable, it is utterly impossible, and yet we persist in doing it.  It is not that we actually want to do that, we have been taught to do that.  For those who truly desire more Love in the their lives; however, it is crucial that we begin (or continue to) literally “lighten up” on ourselves and turn that trend around as best we can.  Give ourselves the benefit of the doubt when we err or see that we could have acted better, while at the same time learning to truly appreciate and Love our gloriousness and our beauty.  No matter who we are, we are glorious, we are beautiful, and the more we can see that, acknowledge that and express Love for that, the happier we will be and the more Love we will attract into our lives.

We show ourselves Love by honoring our true desires and inspirations.  When we allow what is in our deepest heart to “bubble up” into our conscious awareness we are Loving ourselves at a very high level.  “To Thine Own Self Be True.”  Those are more than just pretty words, they are a powerful “prescription” for happiness and Love in our lives.

Taking time to pamper ourselves in little – and not-so-little – ways is a supreme act of Self Love.  Allowing ourselves the time to do what makes our heart sing, or calms our being, or delights the child in us – and doing that regularly.  The ideas of what to do are as limitless as your imagination and desire.  Be creative.  Have fun with this.  Let the little person that you once were (and still are, down inside) help you find those things that feed your being, and then Love yourself enough to take the time and energy to do them.

Love yourself by allowing your uniqueness to shine.  Let your little idiosyncrasies flow.  Most of those little things (and maybe not so little things) are portions of what make you, YOU!  Individual, distinct from any other, absolutely a one-of-a-kind masterpiece!  Revel in those things, show them forth and know that those who Love you will delight in them too.

Honor your feelings.  All emotion is direct, conscious communication from your Inner Being/Soul.  Allow yourself to see, acknowledge and feel all of your emotions, while realizing that behaviors and actions are not the same thing as emotions.  Feeling say, Angry or Sad, is not the same as acting Angry or Sad.  Most of our “problems” in life are because we have been taught to deny and repress many of our Spirit-given and Sacred emotions.  All of our emotions are connected, and to the extent that we are denying or repressing one (or several) we are also blocking Love.  If you desire help, if you feel that you need guidance or assistance in this, then Love yourself enough to give yourself that.  Find someone, a therapist, a coach, a mentor, a friend, or a support group that can help.

Think of things you genuinely like, appreciate and Love about yourself.  These can be tangible things (like your hair, smile, or height) or intangible things (like your humor, intelligence, ability with numbers or writing, or willingness) – literally anything you like/Love about yourself right now, as you are at this moment.  Do this often, and especially any time you are feeling criticized or judged by another.  Remind yourself that it is YOUR opinion of you that matters most, and if you are being who you choose to be, then you are exactly where you are by conscious choice and deliberate intent.  Any opinion by any other is nothing more than that – an opinion.

All of these things, taken together, will bring the energy of Love into your immediate moment, and Law of Attraction will respond to that energy in ways that will delight, and often, amuse you.  I promise you that!  Remember, as with all exercises and processes, take them lightly, have fun with them and as always, PLAY your way through them.  And as with the 30-Days of Play Challenge, I hope you will share your experiences with me, through the Comment Tab here, or my email: lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net.  I will delight and revel in hearing how Love comes to you as you work with this.

Desiring to be fully seen, fully accepted and fully Loved is the deepest desire of every heart.  That is no coincidence.  We ARE Love.  We are not Fear, we are not even physical human beings at our core – we are Spirit and Spirit is Love.  Acknowledging Love, Expressing Love, Desiring Love, Vibrating Love, Emitting Love, indeed, Being Love, that is the surest and most direct route to being Who We Really Are – because, we ARE Love.

Lovin’ Livin’ and Livin’ Love,

Kitty

In my coaching practice I often talk about playing, and I often hear things such as:  We are ADULTS!   We do not have time to PLAY!  Come on, get real!  Who can take time out of such busy schedules – with jobs and spouses and kids and household chores and shopping and paying bills and sleeping and showering and, and, and…?  We would love to have the time for play, but we simply do not have that “luxury.”

Most adults think these things – or at the very least, they think that they cannot allow themselves to play until after the “work” is done, and how often does that happen, really?  Yet, without fun in our lives, what we doing everything else for??   Play is the energy of the Youniverse.  Play is the fun and happiness in life.  The truth is that the more we “need to get done” and the more responsibility we carry, the more we need to play!  We cannot afford not to take the “luxury” of play-time “seriously.”

Our very soul is crying out for FUN.  Often, we have stifled that voice into a tiny, nearly inaudible cry.  Some of us rarely hear it at all any more, but if you listen closely enough, you will hear it.  That wise and wonderful little voice that says: “I want to have FUN!!”  And rightly so, what good is a life that is all work and no play?

When we do hear it, what do many of us do about it?  We often use it to make ourselves feel even worse.  We tell ourselves how we should take time for play, and we should play with our children more, and we should be happier.  We should on ourselves in numerous ways.

So what to do?  When we have a problem that we don’t have a solution for in other areas of our lives, we generally go to an expert who does know.  If we have a plumbing leak, we call a plumbing expert, if we have an electrical short, we call an electrical expert, and so on.  We can do that in this situation too -- we can call in the "play experts."  You know who they are, the kids!!  Especially the “mini-kids.”

Kids know how to play.  They know.  Naturally, instinctively, inherently.  We were once kids.  So doesn’t that automatically mean that we also know that naturally, instinctively and inherently?  It’s not that we don’t know how, it's that we have superceded that knowledge with so many other things, that ‘how to play’ has become (for many) a buried knowing – we literally buried it alive!

The wisest among us have at least identified things that we do like to do, ways that we have fun.  But, those things are usually things that we have go do, like going out to dinner or a show, going camping, fishing or hunting.  These things are wonderful, and even children enjoy going somewhere to have some fun; but, those things generally require time, money or both.  So that leaves us back where we were before.  What to do when we don’t think we have the time or money to engage in those activities?

There is a distinctive difference in the way children approach play.  They can go somewhere to have fun, but they don’t need to do that.  They play all the time, everywhere, no matter what else they are doing.  They literally carry the energy of “play” with them everywhere they go.  That is the energy that we adults have walked away from, that is the energy that we can regain and re-learn in our lives.  That is the “secret” to having a life that truly is fun.

There are infinite ways to do this, but I will list a few that come to mind, as a way to get your creative “juices” flowing.  Most require no extra time or money, just a shift in the way we approach things.  Little ones have such a creative and expressive way to enjoy themselves, often without going anywhere and without toys or other “implements” and activities.  I’m reminded of the experience of many parents who have spent a good deal of money on a particular toy for their child, and then watched in dismay as the child gleefully played with the box that it came in.  Play energy is everywhere, and “finding” it is a simple as being open to imagination.

One of my intentions is to have as much fun in my life as I possibly can – I now intend for my life to be 100% fun.  To many, that sounds impossible – after all, there are so many things we “have” to do that are just not inherently fun.  But that is not the way a small child sees it.  Those things we do daily, things that we consider a drudgery, the things we just want to get done so we can move on to something else; those are areas that are rife with opportunities for fun.  It is not the activity that is, or is not, fun; it is in how we approach it.

Watch any small child when there are dishes to be done.  They revel in that!  Standing on a chair to reach the sink (which makes them feel so BIG) they delight in the warm water, especially if it is winter and their hands are cold.  They are in awe of the soap bubbles that glisten with all the colors of the rainbow.  They love to slide their hands around in the slippery feel of the water.  So many things enchant a small child, and we can do that too.  With a minor modification or two, we can access that gleeful energy every single time we “have to” do the dishes – a daily opportunity for fun, instead of a daily opportunity for resistance.

Try bringing a chair over to the sink, but rather than standing on it to gain height, kneel on it to bring in your own “Inner Child’s energy” and “play” with doing the dishes.  Pay attention to how warm and slippery the water feels.  Look at the bubbles.  Watch how they cling together and how easy it is to “mold” them.  Pay attention to the colors that reflect within them.  Go ahead, splash a little, it’s no problem, it’s only water and soap – it’s easy to wipe up.  Let yourself play!  Within a very short time, the “Adult” in you is satisfied with the “productivity” of getting a chore completed, while at the exact same time the “Child” in you has had fun playing.  A wonderful Win-Win situation, and we can experience a simple and yet a profound energy shift; if we will let ourselves truly engage in little things like this.

There are many others “games” that I use, and I listen attentively to the little one that still lives in me, to find still more fun and creative ways of doing those things that used to seem like 'necessary ‘evils’” in my life.  Try some (or better yet, ALL) of these:

Vacuuming while crawling on hands and knees.  I can’t do this one for very long (my knees complain – grin) but being down close to the things that the vacuum is picking up is an entirely new way to “see” that chore.  Mini-kids love pushing vacuums around, and if the canister is clear and you can see what is happening there, all the better.

Cleaning the toilets is a “nasty job” – right?  Not to a 2-year-old.  To them, water is water, and playing in water is always fun.  Try using the swirling water of the toilet as you flush it to “help” as you clean with the toilet brush, as if it were pushing your brush around inside the bowl.  Watch as the water curls around – I have even imagined that I was one of the tiny people in Gulliver’s Travels and that this was a GIANT water filled bowl.  It’s okay – play in the toilet – it’ll all wash off!  : )

Making your bed in the morning can be tons of fun.  My Inner Child just LOVES to roll around in the quilts and sheets – and stacking all the pillows in the corner so she can throw herself into them feels like flying!  It can take a little longer to get my bed made, but what harm can there be in taking an extra minute or two if it is so much fun!  Note too that I am not “imagining” myself doing that – I am actually doing it, and it is more fun than I can say!

I hate to cook!  Cooking has not been a fun thing for me even as far back as I can remember, and yet, it is a daily event.  I am not about to let something I do every single day ruin my energy over and over.  What I have found to be the most fun with cooking is to do things as “oddly” as I can.  If I need to fry an egg, I don’t even bother with a frying pan – a grab a Dutch oven or a huge soup pot.  It is absolutely comical to see that little egg (especially if it is just one) lying in the bottom of a huge pan.  And it doesn’t matter at all, the egg cooks just fine.  I have made brownies in my cast iron skillet (they are oven safe) although I needed to adjust the baking time since the cast iron absorbs heat so quickly and evenly.  I really have fun whenever there is something that needs to be mixed by hand, such as hamburger for a meat loaf, cookie dough.  Many things that aren’t supposed to be mixed by hand are way more fun if I stick my hands into it rather than stir with a utensil.  Creaming butter and sugar together is one of my favorites with my hands!

Being outside brings a plethora of fun things to do!  Few things can mesmerize a child more than just taking a few moments to truly observe nature.  It is fascinating!!  Ants marching in line, often carrying things many times their own weight; a crow squawking in flight; a caterpillar ambling along a stem; a bee hovering over a flower; the shape of a rock; the curve of a hill; CLOUDS!  Clouds are amazing fun, making shapes out of them, or asking them to move or disappear.  They will actually do it!  And MUD!  What fun mud can be!  Walking in it, making mud “pies” or “castles “ out of it, drawing in it with a stick, rolling in it, or just watching it ooze if it is going downhill.  Some of these things may take some time (like taking a shower after rolling in the mud) most of them do not, and they can be done in any outdoor location.  We do not need to “set time aside” to do them, we just need to observe what is available for us to delight in any time we are outside.  Listen and watch for them as you are walking to your car, or waiting for the bus, or in a parking lot going to or from the store.  Literally any time you our outdoors bring your Inner Child with you and let them show you all there is to be in awe and wonder over.  Pretend you are seeing it for the first time, experience it as if you had never seen it before – and the truth is, you haven’t!  This is the first time you have seen this particular thing in this particular way at this particular time.

Moving around is sheer ecstasy for a child!  They love to dance, walk, run, roll, jump, crawl, spin, and see just how many ways they can move their body.  We can do that too.

If your are at home doing some chore (vacuuming or dusting) try doing it while moving in some way that you would not normally do it, like, backwards or on your hands and knees.  Use your imagination, and your body!  Let it move!  We don’t have to be a candidate for “Dancing With The Stars” to move to music and let our muscles play.

If you are outside, try walking along on the edge of the curb while balancing.  It might take a few extra seconds to get where you are going, but the joy-factor is more than worth it!

The next time you see a grassy hillside, don’t just walk down it, ROLL down it!

When you were little did you ever just spin to see how dizzy you could get?  It’s fun!  Try it!

How long HAS it been since you’ve climbed a tree?

If it is snowy, slide down a snow bank or slide across ice with just your shoes.

If it is warm, turn on the sprinkler and run through it.  This one can also be “productive” if you have a dog that needs bathing.  : )

The next time your are swimming and “working” on your perfect swan dive or impeccable breast stroke, let loose with a few “cannon balls” and see just how big of a splash you can make.

While driving with the radio on, change the lyrics of the song to something that tickles your funny bone, the more ridiculous the better!  I have spent many hours on long trips entertaining myself with this one, and the miles just melt away while I am laughing.  An added benefit to this one is that if you are alone in the car, others on the highway really wonder what you are up to laughing all by yourself!  : )  And if you are traveling with another, see if you can get them into doing it with you.  It’s great fun!

The next time you are waiting for an appointment or in an airport or train/bus terminal, make up stories in your mind about the people you see.  Are any of them spies?  International Jewel thieves?  See how creative you can be with the stories.

And for just a little investment we can create “Inner Child Fun Quiet Time” too.  Get some crayons, markers, finger paints, tablets, clay or Play-Doh, and other fun “craft supplies” for tots.  Allow yourself to play with them.  It isn’t important if you are an “artist” or if you feel that you do or do not have “talent” – what matters is that you let yourself play with color and texture.  See how much fun you can have.  I love to get a coloring book and then see how creative I can color the objects – trying to use colors that are as opposite as they would “normally” be as I can.  I’ve spent many hours giggling and even laughing out loud at the silliness that I’ve come up with.

Do you want life to be more fun?  Do you wish you had more energy and vitality in your life?  If you answered yes, then I challenge you:  For the next 30-Days bring the energy of PLAY into your life each and every day, as often as you can.  Anything goes as long as it truly feels like FUN, especially if it makes you giggle or laugh out loud.  And if you begin feeling the vibrant and imaginative energy of the child you once were coming though, then you are “there!”  I promise you, if you will do this every day for 30-Days you will find that life not only is supposed to be fun – it IS fun!

So, just bravely toss your inhibitions out a nearby window and try any of the things I've listed.  Change them, expand them, come up with new ones.  Let your Inner Child guide you.  Use your imagination.  And please, as you come up with inventive new ideas, please share them with me at lifebridgecenter@earthlink.net.  I am moving closer to my goal of 100% fun, and one of the most fun things I do is thinking of and attracting new fun ideas in order to have as much fun as I possibly can.

Happy Playing!!!!